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Sex life ruined by TURP prostate surgery

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The first pains started in January 2012. I could not sleep for more than an hour. If I sat in a chair perhaps 2 or 3 hrs. I would wake up with a deep acute or dull pain in my lower abdomen. It took my family doctor two months to give me a sonagram. It was found my bladder was barely emptying. The first urologist drained me and put me in a permanent catheter and urine bag. He did a cystoscopy and never told me actually what was wrong. It took a third party my brother, to tell me that I was to self catheter 3 or 4 times per day indefinitely. Of course intermittent cathetering is alot better than having a permanent catheter. Most importantly you can still have sex and ejaculation.

However, my insurance only alloted 30 catheters per month. So I had wash and reuse them. I was getting constant irritation in the penis and at times urinary tract infections.

Out of desperation I took the first appointment available at an out of town, university hospital's urology department. That was a bad move because, for one, the first doctor available is not getting much business$$$ or is incompetent. Indeed, I got a nasty, fast talking, over achieving(i.e.under achieving) young doctor who was hard to get the time of day out of, leave alone sitting down with you and discussing what the pros and cons are of this prostate surgery or procedure(TURP=trans urethal resection of the prostate).

He said my prostate was enlarged and that what was making my urine not empty fully.*** But he never told prior about the fact after a turp procedure you can no longer ejaculate***. three days after the procedure I was peeing like a horse.
In the written material I was given I was told to with hold having sex(with a woman--i am heterosexual--or even masturbate). Then after four weeks i masturbated. To my shock no semen came out and my orgasm was almost like going through the motions, no feeling really. I was worried.

After a year after I am back to self cathetering anyway and much worse than that I cannot have even adequate release of sexual tension, let alone pleasure from sex. The conclusion my latest urologist came up, which I think is the accurate one(the one my first local urologist never told me about)was that I have a neurogenic bladder because the decrease of prostate size procedure never worked in the long run.

I am middle age. Only until a couple years ago did a life long iatrogenic(i.e.caused by the doctor or treatment)nervous condition started to disappear did I start having sexual intercourse with a partner(a woman of course). I can still have all the visible and mechanical aspects of an erection and an orgasm but it feels like almost nothing, even more stressful, or even painful.

Go to any health website prostate, specifically turp induced retrograde ejaculation(i.e. retrograde ejaculation)and 9 out of ten men are angry and depressed like I am. Urologists deny there is a connection between dry orgasm and diminished sex release and pleasure, but the empirical and anecdotal evidence proves they are wrong. And from what I know there is no way of treating prostate surgery induced or caused dry orgasm(or retrograde ejaculation). Unlike, for example diabetes caused or induced dry orgasm there are medications, a prostate surgery like turp destroys the seminal vessel. So your semen does not go out your penis but deposits in your bladder. And as far as I know there or no reconstructive surgeries, implants, etc so you can ejaculate again.

Dry orgasm is sort of like feeling the expected pleasure of hitting the target while pulling back the arrow on bow string and as soon as you let go, the string breaks. Only analogy I can think of right now to permanent retrograde ejaculation(i.e.dry orgasm).

I am going through emotional and physical hell. To be frank, I no longer want to live. please help!(and no not psychiatric help. they would just give me more suffering like they did when I had nervous breakdown when a young man and gave me torture drugs and they do the same today the unwitting dr. mengeles--i.e.psychiatrists-- and their torture drugs=neuroleptics)
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First Helper tread_well

replied June 17th, 2013
I think it is time to let this urologists know that something is very wrong with this TURP and in the way they think. In the first place they are working with our sexual organs and they have this arrogant attitude that everything will be just the same after the operation than before exept that we just won't ejaculate anymore. If you tell them it is not the case they are totally protected and sorry to hear about your trouble. When I told my urologist after the operation that it is definitely not the case and that my life is a mess, he just keep on saying that it is definitely not the TURP. Then he prescribed very expensive testosterone injections for me as well as Levitra for ED. Of course he didn't listen to what I was saying because I had no ED but rather no enjoyment during the climax.

Allthough I went for the first injection I still had the same pathetic climax and were totally depressed again. Now what I can't understand is that all of a sudden a month after the operation; the first time I had sex, my sex life went from 100% to next to nothing because I had the shock of my life of what was suppose to be the new climax that I have to live with after the TURP and for the rest of my life. I had a stunning sex live but now I am totally depressed about the terrible climax I have now and that they tell us is suppose to be exactly the same. My new urologist can't understand why he did the operation without giving me flomax so that I could feel how this retrograde ejaculation should feel. Of course I would have tried everything else because I didn't like the idea of retro and my new urologist says he is surprised how many men choose not to have the operation after they have retro when using flomax.

Something is very wrong as I have 2 friends who had the same operation 20 years ago and both told me that they had the shock of their lives the first time they climaxed after the operation. When I asked the one why he didn't warn me when he knew I was going for the same operation he said that 20 years after he had the TURP he thought that they surely should have a better procedure by now. He only started talking about it now and he can't believe someone else have the same problem.

I think the research that is done is definitely corrupt and probably done by people who have financial interrest in the operation. For example the company who build the machine that do the operation etc. I looked at a few of this research results and the first problem I have with it is the age group. They can't do research with an average age of 70 years old for sexual function. I mean "Hallooooo"

I wonder if any of them are reading this complains and if they care at all.
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replied December 31st, 2013
Well written gingerman. You have expressed what I am going trough much better than I did myself. Apologies to all for my rambling and non sequiters.

At the risk of :wearing it on my sleeve": My mind body and soul have suffered so much over the years that I can't even write well anymore, I am constantly in a state of discomfort. The only relief I get is with rx'd pain and anxiety meds. And of course that becomes a problem too if your doctor stops rxing becase of the damned war on drugs tentacles into the doctor patient relationship. The sorts of meds I am rx'd have a "sword of Damocles" over the heads of pain and family doctors. If he/she is pressured by these war on drugs laws against doctors I may be cut off any moment. After this long painful life If I had an option of either going through withdrawal or going in front of a firing squad, I would chose the latter without a second thought.

I have been damaged so many times by the for profit US medical system but never as much done to me by that malpractice procedure called TURP. prior to the unnecessary turp, I was and still am suffering from a knee with no acl; an arthritic knee,neck and back; cardiovascular problems; a severe neurosis CAUSED by psychiatric drug torture years ago which scars me till this day. One shrink was honest enough to tell me that the sort of drugs they gave me are torture and you(me)are suffering a life long iatrogenic(caused by the treatment or doctor)form of ptsd. I was never an involuntary mental patient but i was treated like a violent madman for merely crying too much when i had a nervous breakdown after a long period of stress.

One bit of hope I saw on another message board website. just copy and paste into your browser: full/3901202a.html#fig3

A guy on the message board said he tried one collagen injection and it did bring back some ejaculate and a bit more pleasure. But the cost is expensive and doubt the US good for chit, insurance I have, will cover it.

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replied April 5th, 2014
TURPS Operation
Reading this and after my experience with all this rubbish, I believe the blame is totally with the doctors(Specialists???).I had a turps op a few years back, to be fair was told about the ejaculation issue, and went through all you have with this problem....I do find if you dwell on the fact that it is not as it was, the sensations are terrible, if it is possible to find something that really creates arousal, i.e. something you enjoyed in the past, ejaculation can be pretty good, not quite as before but not bad.

Over the years whilst trying to diagnose my problem, I had so many tests done that involved having something shoved up the penis, going from one doctor to the next, telling them what I had done with the tests and having the same thing done. I had the Turps done and subsequently had to go back for another "unblockage" of something the specialist had left behind, and again after pain and more issues, he finally cut the bladder neck, something that certainly got my attention when I woke (pain wise.) I then developed pain waves at night which scared the you know what out of me....went to a few more "specialists", was told the only way they could diagnose was to stick something up again and have a look, one told me it was not possible to Xray the urethra, went to a second one, in the same city who did Xray it, and, finally saw a picture of a delicate part of my anatomy that looks like a pineapple has been dragged through it backwards, have just had my first infection AGAIN since the initial operation, JOY, been told it is probably because of the urethra being damaged and urine is sitting in the scar tissue.

I did come across the scarring issue in hospital early on in all of this, and subsequently, one gent was having it stretched once a month as he would block up and had a needle stuck into the bladder, from outside as an emergency procedure, oh yes, don't forget, every time you have something done, there are hospital and aneasthetist bills, and nobody misses you.

My gripe is this, they all know, scarring happens, very commonly, why does nobody say anything, over the years I have seen about seven "Specialists", only one, right at the end mentioned it, we know no better and take them all at their word, they know what they are doing?

In my line of work, and anyone I know, if we did anything near as bad as this, we either do not get paid, sued or worse, we all make a point of making sure people are aware of potential problems.

To any young guys out there, beware how many times you have an instrument jammed up there, the one used in a Turps op is 12mm in diameter and stays up there for 3 to 4 days, I leave the rest to your imagination
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