When I have sex, it doesn't feel good at all. I am not numb- I can feel his penis inside me- I just don't feel any pleasure. I like it and can feel it when he plays with my clit, but not when we have sex or when he fingers me. I've been masturbating trying to see what feels good, but still only playing with my clit feels good- nothing with my vagina feels good. It doesn't hurt, I just don't get any pleasure. I cannot see a doctor because my parents don't know I am having sex. I know that most women don't orgasm from sex, but everyone I talked to says it at least feels good. Is there something wrong with me? Is there anything I can do to help it feel better? I really really want sex to be enjoyable for me.
What you are describing is normal and the majority of women experience this. The vagina is mostly without nerve endings, the clitoris has the most nerve endings per surface area of any part of the human body. Some women will develop feeling in their vagina later in life.
If you do not deal with it, you will begin to resent sex and your partner.
First step is to tell him this. Then you have to get enough stimulation to your clitoris during intercourse to make you orgasm. You or him can rub your clitoris during intercourse.
You can also get on top where you can control the angle, depth and tempo of intercourse. Grind down until your clitoris gets stimulated. Lean forward if that will make it easier, rub forwards and backwards, side to side, in circles, not up and down.
Or you can be brought to orgasm in other ways, fingering or oral, either before or after intercourse. The decision should be yours. Your orgasm is your responsibility. Your partner is there to help you but you have to be able to communicate with him what you want. If he is not willing to help you, you should seriously reconsider the relationship.
Lastly, researchers found that the amount of penis-in-vagina time has a direct relationship to your ability to orgasm during intercourse. So if he finish too quickly, you will have problems.
Remember to always have safe sex and make sure you are well lubricated.