This if my first post.

I am sitting in a hotel room awating my results for HIV test. I'm 90% sure I have it. Lately, I have had symptoms of swollen lymph nodes, cough, sore throat, tiredness, etc, etc

It's not so much the symptoms but my sexual history. I have had unprotected sex with many women (some sexual workers too). I know that I should be wearing protection but hate using condoms and now well, this is probably my punishment. I fear that I am a sex addict as well. The worst part is I did get a test before (about a year and a half ago) but haven't changed my habits (it came out negative). It's terrible and I hate myself for it.

I'm incredibly scared but am ready to accept my fate. If it comes out negative, I will get help. I know I need it. If it positive, I guess I have a different path to consider.

I really don't know what to do right now...