dont worry. you are not alone. ive been feeling like that lately too. and trust me, theres alot more people to. the key is to talk. im sure on this world wide web somewhere there will be a thing like this for depressed people to talk to each other on. but until you or i find that, you got me to talk to. i have previously tried to kill myself a few times. but failing as id either break down in tears or someone would walk in. like my mum! and try talk to me about it. that was just akward. i too find it hard to hold convos. but, i have gotten better. the only way to get better is to face your fear. go talk to people. tell them how you feel about it and they will understand.
i could write on here for ages but anyways, im here if you ever wana talk.
youre not alone ok. i promise. dont feel like that.

The greatest teacher I have ever had the privilege to learn from once told me, the past does not equal the future, unless you live there. To understand the greatness of this statement is to understand that the only power yesterday has (or even a minute ago) is the power we give it in our own minds. It means that each moment is a brand new opportunity to change our lives and create the future we want. We only fail if we deny this great truth.

Do not think of the situations you do not wish to experience, and they will literally vanish. Instead, think about what you do want, and when you decide, take action towards it.

To illustrate my point, think about this. In Nevada, there is miles and miles of straight highway, you can see forever it seems. There are telephone poles every 100 feet or so. Yet for whatever reason, these telephone poles are the cause of numerous car accidents. What happens is, for whatever reason some traveler looses control of their vehicle, and with all that open space, they manage to steer themselves directly into the pole. Why? The reason is a great metaphor for life. The moment they loose control, they focus all of their attention and all of their energy on what they do not wish to experience, which is not crashing. Then, sure enough, they hit the pole directly as if that was indeed their intention. Keep your focus off 'the problem' and keep it on the solution. Steer the direction you want to go and give no energy to the undesired.

Only the best.

it sound to me like you have trauma. we can talk about this in private if you want. Its only up from here. your at your bottom. its going to take A LOT of attention to get you better. trauma creates such deep wounds that it can happen over and over again if you have that thought pattern.. until finally one becomes 'agoraphobic' you are withdrawn and wont leave your house because you feel lost and hopeless.

get help from as many people as possible because this is a time where you are in need. eventually you will establish comfort. let that grow. feel your senses come back to life by drinking tea eating a good diet. aromatherapy and shiny things are all comfort things.

please nurture your inner child and play and dance

a nurse once told me for every full day I sleep in bed it takes a whole two weeks to recover

that will hopefully keep you awake

six hugs a day are good hug yourself and drink lots of fluids to settle your nerves. cozy up with a blanket and pillow and count your blessings. count everything that has ever left foot prints on your heart and make yourself better.

I'm sorry.