how to explain this is hard.......i have been through a lot of different things.......2003 i lost my nan to cancer and til this day i still have trouble dealing with that but in 2007 november 13th i lost my mum...my best friend....my angel....i didnt have a chance to tell her what she ment to me as she had a brain anurysm and i have seen things and i wake up every night havin the same nightmare......because i saw my mum in intensive care i sat beside her holding her hand and the hardest thing about it was her chest was moving just like she was sleeping...then i had to watch her life support machine be turnt off......if this was not hard enough i saw her in the chapel of rest even thou she was at rest i just couldnt come to terms with it...........18th of december 1 day before my 18th bday i had to watch my mum be buried that one lady who brought me into this world....the one lady i wanted to watch me grow up.....be at my wedding....see my first child....life just doesnt seem worth living...i have been put on anti depressants but they dont seem to help not in the slightest also went to concelling and i didnt feel comfortable talkin to a man...i cant reli see what else could help...but i need somethin
if anyone has any advice or has been through the same sorta thing plz feel free to reply
Everybody grieves in differant ways. I wish I had some magical answer to help you through the process but I dont. I lost my father when I was 12 but to be honest I did not grieve very much as I was trying to be strong.
All i can suggest is that you need to allow yourself to grieve....know that you have people around you that care about you. Allow those people who care for you to be there for you. I say this because it is easy to fall into the rap of dealing with depression alone....i know because i am doing it myself!!!!!
Losing a loved one is never easy and when it is a parent, it is even more so. Our parents are almost a constant companion through out our lives. Friends, boy friends/girl friends will come and go but your parents is always there.
You have a lot of goals that you have placed for your self, to make your mother proud of you and you want her to be there when you succeed in those goals. The fact that she is not here any more...at least in body, does not mean you should let go of those goals.
Even if she is not physically there, to be at your wedding, see your kids grow up and whatever successes may come across your life, know that she is just as proud of you, if not more so. Reach those goals for your mom and make her proud that she brought you up to be a strong individual, who can carry on regardless of what challenges life through at you.
The one thing that can't be replaced, is the ability to talk to her, confide in her and get support and advice from her and therefor, even though no one will ever be able to take her place, you should find someone whom you could share your life with and to talk to when you need comforting and support.
You don't need to necisarily talk to a psychiatrist. A good friend or family member, that is willing to listen and show support, is just as good, if not better. Psychiatrists is after all only there, to listen and allow you to explore your feelings and come to terms with what is happening in your life.
I know it's hard and no one can take away the sorrow and grief. Be strong and let it pass. Don't fight it it yet don't give up hope either. The grieving process is a gift of nature, to feel how much you have loved your mom and will carry on loving her. Let your heart be overwhelmed by it, cry your eyes out and once you feel ready, use that love to carry you forward.
Life is far from over and there is a lot still left to live for.
I wish you all of the best and don't hesitate to talk to any of us here. Sometimes, to just talk about her, might be as good as getting a warm hug from your mom her self.