Hi,

I'm in a relationship with my Japanese boyfriend,
we met on the internet, never in real life though..
We started mailing in September, every day.
We became really good friends and in March we told eachother about our feelings, then we were boyfriend and girlfriend.

But... he's very shy..
So most of the time I was talking about myself
and he told little about himself.
He said he was still broken hearted by his ex, that left him 4 years ago when he was 18, at the same time he also lost his deep best friend ever.

So, in may I sent him 3 underwear pictures..
in trade for his past story.
I don't regret it, his story was very interesting!

So... from his past story I read he was very shocked by these 2 friends that left him, also he's always scared about me leaving him.
Could it be some kind of disorder??
I don't know..phobia ore something?

He even cries when we 'argue'(more like a discussion) when I call him problem. (bad habit of mine, when I get angry I use bad words)

In fact, he cries easilly when I 'hurt his feelings'
I think he's too sensative, he also admits he's sensative,
his friends also say it.

In may we started to chat for hours on yahoo messenger.
But we have a 7 hour timelag.
So the poor thing was talking to me untill 3 midnight while he had to get up for work at 7. I didn't really realise it...
But he also refused to go to sleep when I told him..
he said: You don't miss me..
But I was always capable of convincing him to go to sleep.

Ever since then he got more open and sent me more pictures.
We also had a few arguements (normal in new relationships)
He had problems accepting arguements as a part of a relation, and wanted to be friends with me.
(because we never argued when we were friends, but I don't think it was the friend issue, I think arguing on livechat happens faster then by e-mail)
After a lot of talking I finally was able to reach his mind and deliver the message: In relationships you must TALK, to solve disagreements (he thought it was tiring) and arguements belong to every relationship, especially in the beginning.

Now, he doesn't want me to hug other males.
But I go to cosplay(costume play) parties, where people(me too) dress up like characters from various anime(japanese animation/cartoon) manga(japanese comic) and game characters, there I have always hugged everyone.
It's normal, because if you adore a character from an anime, wouldn't you want to hug him/her??
Also, the people there are always friendly people.
It's like meeting up with a group of close friends.

So.. He's overprotective.
I think this is also because he's so sensative.
It all comes down to him not wanting to lose me.

He also talked about mairrage,
I said, of course I want to marry you.
I love him.

The past month we also talked about having children after mairrage.
Now, having children is one of my biggest whishes in life.
So I want many of his children.

But lately I realised how many times he tells me: 'I'm drunk' when we're talking on yahoo..
So I asked about how much he drank..
He said 4 ore 5 days 1 beer chuhai per week.
Now.. in Japan beer is 350ml ore 500ml it depends. 0.5%
and chuhai is 0.8% but I didn't ask about the ml.

So it came to my mind if he drinks so much alcohol...
He might have drunken sperm..
So I got scared he would make bad babies,
therefor I asked him to drink the beer and chuhai only 3 days in the week.
But he didn't want to..
He started giving comments like.. 'I allready gave up smoking, and now you want me to give up my only comfort?'
and.. 'alcohol saved me, maybe I would have been dead without it'
He also said he NEEDS it, because else he's to insecure.

I told him therapist can help overcome insecurity,
alcohol only covers it temporarilly.
But he refuses and sticks to his old method(alcohol)

I got so angry I said: 'I don't want your ugly alcohol babies'
Then he cried..
I also said, if later you become alcoholic I must break up with you.

(I only want to take good care of myself future children, if we ever marry, get children and he needs alcohol every day we get money problems and he could abuse us, I believe I have all the right to warn him about breaking up because of alcohol)

These 2 things I said made him cry.

I sent him a supporting e-mail..
And got him to say: 'and I'll try to decrease alcohol....If you hope...'

He told me the amount he drinks, it's average maybe.. But I'm hesitating to believe him, since he told me he needs it..

Am I being a dramaqueen about the alcohol thing?
I'm 17 now, but I think I've got a lot of knowledge about relationships.
(even though this is my first one)

And I'll meet him 10 months from now...

I speak to my family about my bf a lot, I love him so much I just can't stop talking about him.(positive things only) Though, nobody trusts him..
They all say: 'it's impossible to love someone you never even met in Real Life' and 'he could be someone 57 years old sending pictures of his grandson' and 'japanese people are aliens, get someone from your own country'

I disagree on this, of course I don't know how he walks, smelles ore about his physicall habits. But I know the way he thinks and sounds, I know what he feels for me, what upsets him, I think everyone is capable of truly loving someone over the internet.

Besides, it's human minds falling in love, not physicall.
Physicall love is pure instincts.
Gestures like holding someone, smiling, buying a rose, it's all heartwarming, physical, the feeling, it makes you FEEL you're in love, and if you feel it you think it, it's all insinctive.
Becuase if we didn't FEEL this feeling we wouldn't mate as creatures on planet earth. (like cats and other creatures, they don't love on brain, but on instincts)

God never spoke to me in RL(ore ever at all), it means he doesn't love me?
(I don't believe in god, it was just a statement)

Not being capable to love someone you never met in RL is nonesence!
I think I'm blessed with such a loyal boyfriend, I always hear about people leaving eachother, which is always very painfull.
I'll never have to go through that pain with this lifetime parter =)

I just wanted to know how you people think about this.
Because basicly the alcohol thing makes me very insecure and affraid.
And some advise on what amount of alcohol is normal.
And if you had the same experiences with your guy/gal as I did.


I just want to talk..