I'm being medicated for depression. I'm on 300 mg of Wellbutrin XL. It has worked fairly well, I think. But a little while after I upped the dosage from 150 mg to 300 mg, I found that I sometimes have fits of anger/frustration... I'm either angry at everything/everyone around me or at myself.
I'm under an incredible amount of stress from school - worried that I won't finish my thesis so I can graduate university. I don't see where I'm going in life. One day I was sitting in my room trying to work on my project and my roommate was annoying me once again with her loud laughter and fidgeting. I felt lost and helpless. I felt like I wasn't myself.. like I just wasn't alive. I got so angry that I scratched all the way down the inside of my arm. Enough that I started bleeding. The pain made me snap back to reality. It made me feel alive. It made me feel better.
Since then this has become a habit. I will scratch at myself or dig my nails into my skin when I am overwhelmed. Sometimes it's enough to make me bleed, but sometimes it just leaves some red marks that fade after a few minutes.
I'm not trying to kill myself. I don't feel suicidal. It's just my outlet for anger and the way to connect myself back to reality. I want to snap myself out of it and focus on what I need to get done.
I guess I'm posting this here because I want to know if any one else is similar. A lot of people post about cutting, but I've never heard of any one else scratching. Is it bad to cope with stress like this?
I do the exact same thing. I have no intentions of killing myself, my scratching is simply a way to relieve stress. I also rip out my hair and have cut myself before, but only very minimally, and with no intention of suicide. Its the same feeling I get after I smoke a cigarette. The slight pain just distracts me from my anger or stress for just enough seconds so that I can refocus. Is this wrong?