School nurse, seeing cutting a lot Posted: 03-19-08 11:33am
Hey there. I'm not a cutter, and never
have been. I don't understand the
reasoning behind it, but I'm not the type
to pass judgement; everyone deals with
their problems in a different way.
I'm a school nurse at a middle school and
I'm seeing these 6th, 7th, and 8th graders
coming in a lot because they're worried
about infection. They've all made some
very minor cuts, but LOTS of them. Mostly
in visible places. Diving in a bit, I
come to find out it's a circle of people
who have all been victims of unhappy
parents.
So I don't know what to tell these kids.
By law, I have to call their parents and
talk to them about it. half of the time
that alleviates it. I feel that sometimes
physical harm that's visible is one way of
crying out, I may be wrong, but that's how
I'm interpretting some of this. But what
do I tell the kids? What help can I give
them to stop this before they do something
stupid?
Other kids are cutting themselves deeply
in areas that aren't visible. These are
the kids I worry about. I've had to refer
a lot of families for counseling and had
to have some kids admitted for observation
from the comments they've made about
wanting things to just end.
So any help, suggestions, observations, or
recommendations you can give I'd
appreciate.
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PenguinsRus
Moderator
Joined: 05 Nov 2007 Posts: 1179 Location: New York, NY United States
Thanks: 28
Thanked:8
Posted: 03-20-08 05:12am
By law, you don't have to call their
parents. By law, you do have to tell
SOMEONE though. If you are scared about
confrontation and losing trust with your
kids, tell the principle and he will call
the childrens parents and say he got an
anonymous tip from someone saying they
noticed cuts on their childs
arms/legs/wherever.
Honestly, them coming to you saying they
are worried about infection is probably a
cry for help. They want someone to see
the cuts and notice. If they were truly
worried about what people would think and
didn't want some help, they'd do anything
to hide it even if it were oozing puss.
If you feel comfortable with it, you can
pull them aside to a private part of your
office and be like "look, I noticed when
treating this cut for infection that there
are a lot more cuts. is there anything
you'd like to talk to me about? how did
you get these cuts" etc and just try to be
a supportive person.
It's great that you are reaching out and
willing to help these kids in a time of
great need. What a wonderful nurse I'm glad to see we
have caring professionals in our school
system.
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Savrioself
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Mar 2008 Posts: 3
Posted: 03-20-08 08:12am
Ah, shucks Thanks. I really
do love these kids.
The principal here feels it a necessity
that the person that discovered it has to
make the report of it, as in calling the
parents. The vast majority of the kids
I've seen are very open about it. They
have no problems telling me when they did
it, how they did(what they used to cut),
how long they've been doing it, etc. They
never have a why though.
Most of the time, the parents are almost
horrified at first..after I tell them I'm
seeing it a lot they calm down a bit. I'm
VERY happy it's all been caring parents.
Most of them seem to go above and beyond
for seeking help with their kids.
I just don't know what to tell the kids.
Saying the cliche, "Oh, everything will be
OK" isn't good enough for me :*( And
refering them to the counselors usually
isn't enough. Most of the times it's been
kids whose parents are getting
divorced..they feel at blame..
Any more advice on what to say to these
kids? Thank you for the reply.
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PenguinsRus
Moderator
Joined: 05 Nov 2007 Posts: 1179 Location: New York, NY United States
Thanks: 28
Thanked:8
Posted: 03-22-08 10:15am
The why could really be for many reasons.
Some kids do it because they are truly
hurting on the inside and it helps them
feel better, but other kids unfortunately
do it because it seems to be a trend (this
seems especially true in your school since
the number of kids doing it is so high).
I would just be as supportive as possible
and let them know that if they need anyone
to talk to that they can come to you
anytime (if you are willing to do that).
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psych
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Mar 2008 Posts: 1
Good stuff Posted: 03-27-08 16:14pm
Hi Savrioself.
Sounds like you're handling a lot on your
own; well done for looking a bit further
into the subject.
I'm interested - in your contacts with so
many young people so far, have you noticed
anything that really "did" or "didn't"
help you to engage with them? I know
there's no magic words, and it sounds as
though you're working hard to try and get
an understanding and a story for your
young people (which is probably partly why
they're opening up to you in the firdst
place) - but have you any tips you would
pass on to people trying to ask more about
self harm?
Keep up the good work!
Psych
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Dawn1075
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 31 Mar 2008 Posts: 1
Posted: 03-31-08 07:38am
PenguinsRus
wrote:
By law, you don't have to
call their parents. By law, you do have
to tell SOMEONE though. If you are scared
about confrontation and losing trust with
your kids, tell the principle and he will
call the childrens parents and say he got
an anonymous tip from someone saying they
noticed cuts on their childs
arms/legs/wherever.
It's great that you are reaching out and
willing to help these kids in a time of
great need. What a wonderful nurse I'm glad to see we
have caring professionals in our school
system.
Is this the law? I have a cutter and I did
not notify her mother right away but I did
alert the principal. The principal alreted
the mother the same day. The mother is
concerned because I did not notify her as
soon as I found out. Another staff member
looked up HIPPA and our states revised
codes and says that I always have to
notify the parents of a child's health
status and I say we do not any information
would be useful here. Thanks.
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Schizophreniahealth
This page was last updated on June 11, 2008
I'm glad to see we
have caring professionals in our school
system.
Thanks. I really
do love these kids.
