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School and teen pregnancy

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I am an 18 year old girl from a small private school on the east coast. Last year I got pregnant by mistake. My school, which considers itself to be very progressive and liberal has a policy that if you get pregnant and are showing they will "ask you to leave". I made the really difficult decision to get an abortion based mostly on my school's ultimatum. Shortly before I went to have the procedure, I miscarried. For a year now, I have been really angry at the school. I know that fate and nature stopped my pregnancy anyway, but that seems really irrelevant to me since I had already made my decision. It isn't fair that I had to choose between my school and my baby. At my school we do senior projects, and I am basing my around teen pregnancy. I want to work to change my school's policy. I've been doing a lot of research and have been volunteering at Planned Parenthood. I remembered that when I first found out that I was pregnant, I spent a lot of time on a forum like this. Since then it's been shut down which is unfortunate. But I was wondering if anyone would be willing to share their stories with my of how they dealt with school and being pregnant. How did the school react? Did any have a policy like mine? Did you stay in school? Did you tell the school? I know that this is really personal, but anything that you could tell me would be really helpful. Thanks so much!
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First Helper User Profile preggie meggie
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replied March 29th, 2008
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Well I guess I will be the first one then...Lol.

My name is Megan, Im 17 and I was in school for the first 1 1/2 month of my pregnancy. I did tell the school, I had to because I have little sisters there that knew about it and were too excited about being aunts that they couldn't keep it to themselves. I talked to the Counsler and she was very plesant. So I thought that I was past the hard part and was going to be able to finish the 3 months I had left and be on my way. Well later that day I was called out of class to see the princaple... As soon as I got into his office she said "So I hear we have a problem" I said "I dodnt have a problem" He said "Well your pregnant, and we DONT do the pregnant girl thing here" I was SO caught off gaurd by how rude and hatefull he was. I said "Okay, well thats fine I only have a little while left of school." He siad "No, you'll have to finish over the summer at whatever college your on campus for.

So Im out of school right now and have sighned up for two classes this summer at college...only two callases to finish and he couldn't let me do it there, REDICULAS!

Im now 3 months.

Well thats my story, next.
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replied March 29th, 2008
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I don't have a personal story, but I would like to say it seems private schools are the only ones with policies like that. A few of my friends went to school (Public) up until they delivered, and didn't have to tell anyone. They just kinda went on with their education like nothing had happened, and I think that's the way it should be. Why single them out and cause them stress?
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replied March 29th, 2008
Experienced User
My gosh, Megan, that is absolutely ridiculous. "We don't do the pregnant girl thing"??! I guess they do the !**@! principal thing, though. They should be trying to be supportive, regardless of whether or not they agree with your decision. Do you go to a catholic or private school, because otherwise I expect that's illegal. You're entitled to free public education regardless of whether you're pregnant, have AIDS, or are perfectly "normal" and healthy. Good luck with your pregnancy though.

Barney, I'm glad you're taking a stand in something you believe in and hopefully you'll make an impact (but as we all know private schools are not known for their progressive thinking or actions). I'm sorry you had to make a decision that you might of opted out of otherwise, and to hear that you miscarried before it. Good luck with your cause! Sorry I can't be of any help.
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replied March 29th, 2008
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Lilly Ivy wrote:
I don't have a personal story, but I would like to say it seems private schools are the only ones with policies like that. A few of my friends went to school (Public) up until they delivered, and didn't have to tell anyone. They just kinda went on with their education like nothing had happened, and I think that's the way it should be. Why single them out and cause them stress?


My school is public...
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replied March 29th, 2008
I recently found out I was pregnant. I'll be done with school in like a month so I probably won't tell the admin. I go to the alternative branch of my high school. I live in a pretty small town. When I went to the "big school" you never saw pregnant girls. They send them down the the alt school [where I go] so they don't have to deal with their peers immaturity. At least that's what they said. At the beginning of this year, there was a 13 yr old eighth grader who was pregnant and they sent her from the middle school to the alt. high school. After the girls have their babies they put them on "contracts" so they do their work at home, if not finished before, and check in for an hour once a week at the alt school.
I wouldn't mind the kids/teacher at my alt school to know, but I have the feeling if the kids at the "real' high school knew things wouldn't be so chill.
So, to get to the point, I would say my school's pretty supportive, it's just the general high school population that causes problems.
I'm sorry about the situation you went through. I wish you the best and hope you get some changes made!
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replied March 29th, 2008
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a public school is NOT ALLOWED to kick you out, someone may hint at it but they can not refuse you an education, i was 17 when i got pregnant i turned 18 when i was 4 months, graduated 2 weeks after i had my daughter, they can not force you out, theres the whole no child left behind thing so it is illegal

that being said there was nothing like that at my school, 4 of my teachers knew (i think one more may have suspected it because he saw me at teh ob when he was there with his wife i beleive) my counselor knew the receptionist knew (we talked a LOT because i had known her from a previous school) and a few people in the office knew (mainly because when i had my glucose test i had to leave after first period and i was still trying to choke down the drink) but then again i didnt really show until about 35 weeks i never hid it from anyone i just didnt broadcast it ya know, im ORIGNINALY from a small town in wisconsin and its not soemthing you hear of every day there, but at this school (i had moved to norfolk viginia) there were at LEAST 4 other pregnant girls in teh school (that i knew of im SURE there were more) and i knew of 3 other girls who were already mums (in my government class we had at least 2 other pregnant girls (other then me so 3 total) and at least one who already had a kid)

i dont know what else to say, sorry im tired and im trying to keep myself up a little later lol
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replied March 29th, 2008
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I wasnt at school when i found out i was pregnant, but the day i found out i decided i needed to get an education for the sake of my child, so i signed up to the teen parent school, its a specific school for pregnant mums or teenagers with children, regardless as to whether they were single or in a relationship, the mum or dad (although i didnt come across any males while i was there). most schools here are pretty good with pregnant teens except for the more private schools which are dead against it, and the teen parent school is really good because they have a daycare centre there for the children and you can have the baby in class with you up until its about 4 months old, and they are really supportive of breastfeeding mums, they also help arrange things like wellchild checkups and have a public health nurse come in every week, and they offer awesome support for finishing high school (called college here). hey are also really good if you are on a very low income-they find a sponsor to help pay for school fees and stationery and stuff like that, and they provide lunches 3 days a week.
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replied March 29th, 2008
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Im 18 and pregnant with my first child.
When i found out i was pregnant i wasn't going to school because of other reasons from before [not because i was pregnant] but i wanted to go back to get at least my high school diploma before my baby arrives. So i re-registered, still knowing that im pregnant but didnt say anything because i didn't know what the policy was.
For a month and a half i didn't say anything to anyone about me being pregnant, but you can only hide it for so long until you start to show...
So one day [actualy just this thursday] i walked down to my counsellors office and told her what was going on. And she said congratulations! She said she had to talk to the Vice Pirncipal about it, and when she came back she said im perfectly fine to stay in school [A catholic school by the way] but it would be a good idea to tell my teachers, just incase there's something i can't do.
I was really happy that im able to stay in my school while pregnant, and was surprised to hear i could stay seeing as its a catholic school.
I only know of one teacher that i have knowing right now, [because my coundsellor didnt have a chance to tell the other two but im sure did on friday,] and she ws really happy for me too, and said if i need anything she would be happy to help out.
Im not telling any of the students that im pregnant, although right now at 20weeks, i am showing and people aren't stupid. But im not there for other people and i dont care what others say, im in school for my baby and because i want to be there.
I'd say my school is very supportive, im sure some teachers will shake their heads as i get bigger, but hey, i think i am doing the right thing..i could have just never re-registered to get my diploma and be a high school drop out with a baby.

Its ashame that your school is the way it is..but couldn't you have transfered to a different school instead of the one that said when you start to show your out?
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replied March 29th, 2008
wow thanks so much everyone for responding! First of all ttcno, I am shocked for you! On top of your school being closed-minded to your situation, that officer was RUDE to you! I didn't know that public schools were even allowed to do that, I'm pretty sure that Idony is right. I'm at private school now but was in the public school system for 10 years and am pretty familiar with it and never experienced something like that.

Krystine, in theory I probably could have transferred schools. The truth is that when I found out I was pregnant I had just switched to my school from the big public high school which I HATED. With the exception of this policy, I love my school. It is an incredibly unique school with a beyond amazing faculty and classes that I love. The fact is that I CHOSE to stay and to have an abortion. What I'm trying to do now it make it so that girls don't have to make their choice based on the school's policy. I know that most private schools probably have the same policy and I am just banking on the fact that my school is so progressive and open-minded in other areas.
So thank you all for your support and for your stories!
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replied March 29th, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
Changing schools can be tough, so i understand your reason.
I also agree, just beause a girl is pregnant should not make them have to accomidate the school, sure its not acceptable, but they should get credit for still getting their education completed. I think schools like that are discriminating teen girls who are pregnant. its violating a right that everyone has.
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replied March 30th, 2008
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I got pregnant one month into my last year at school when i was 15. I told the school straight away and they were fine about it, emails were sent to memebers of staff explaining that i was pregnant and that they should allow me to leave the lesson if i need the toilet or feel sick etc, i was given a few days extra to complete coursework and i was allowed out of school during my lunch hour to attend midwife appointments as the doctors surgery is only a five minute walk away. The principal hugged me when i told her and said 'come back at lunchtime and i will have sorted everything out, i jsut need to make some phonecalls for you'. I was allowed to do my GCSE's in a different room so that i could leave to go to the toilet or get a drink if i needed to. I stayed in school for almost my entire pregnancy, my Gcse's started when i was 35 weeks and ended 4 days before my due date. Staying in school and getting my GCSE's is one of the best things i've done, i can provide what my daughter needs for the future with them thanks to my school being so understanding
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replied April 7th, 2009
School and Teen Pregnancy
Im a 18 year old about to have a child at the end of this month. I am a senior and about to graduate in 2 months. I didnt drop out of school I stayed in school my whole entire pregnancy and once I have my son I will be returning to school in a couple weeks to finish my school year off.
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replied April 7th, 2009
Extremely eHealthy
Many parents do not want their children to be around other children who are pregnant.
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replied October 15th, 2011
Im 16 and currently still running for my validictorian next year for graduation, currently Im 6 months pregnant with my handsome little boy. I'm also taking side college courses and a nursing class along with highschool, nothing is impossible being pregnant isnt something bad that happend to me its a bump in the path I was ment to follow and now I have a future for myself and my child as well, its hard work specially when you have to wawdle around to do it but I know its worth it. My school had no choice but to work with me or I was going to change school and expose there issues with teen pregancy to the news papers. And well Im gettin ready to have my baby and be a strong independent woman and I hope every woman who chooses to have a baby at my age a go on with their life can do it as positively as I have.
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