Im wondering basically if any symptoms i have sound like schizophrenia i think im fine just a bit weird but my GP and a psychologist who ive seen once and am going back to see disagree.I really dont see how im different from other 16 year old girls but would like opinions anyway.
Firstly i feel like im constantally watched which ive always felt since i was younger i feel like when i think aloud in my head whoever im being watched by can hear me and sometimes explain my actions aloud to whoever is watching.I have another person in my head she is like me only a different version of me i talk to her sometimes out loud even though i know her voice is in my head she says random things when im around other people such as encourage me to hurt them.She has told me to set fire to my old school and then i can kill myself which i know i have to do and will do it when the time is right.Im mostly alone but i prefer to be alone because most people are two faced and i cant be asked to make an effort with them. I did have a close friend in school but constantly found myself wanting to hurt her and tell her she deserves to be hurt because she is naive.I self harm regularly every 1-2 days because it helps me relax and sometimes i do it because it is my punishment for not listening to the 'other' me.I believe my mum can read my mind sometimes and when around her i think bad thoughts. I feel like i have the power to destroy peoples live. My moods rapidly shift from feeling invincible and like i should go kill someone to feeling really depressed.In my worse times i have been convinced that someone was in my room trying to kill me and stuff like that.I have experimented with cannabis once a couple of months ago because i felt depressed and have since down solvents 4-5 times but i have decided to try not to do solvents again as it has bad effects.I dont know whether this is important but i also drink quite a lot of kick (Tesco version of red bull) and have found these effects to be dramatically worse after drinking caffeine.
Appreciate all comments and my apologies that it is so long.
Honey--you definetly do not need to be drinking any caffeine-so please stop the RedBull..
Either you are on mediation that you are not taking or you need to be on medication..
Schizophrenia-you sound paranoid and delusional..I am not a expert but from what I have read from you your doctors are right..You said you think you are just fine..The thoghts you have are not fine thoughts they are dangerous to you and anyone else..Read what you wrote and see if this makes sense to you..Sometimes we can read what we wrote and go -O my gosh..I hope you do return to your doctrs as you need the help-today..