alot of people are effected by there child hood and there up bringing ,me being one of them and it can cause alot of mental instability and stress..you never really mentioned any of your sympthoms or how you feel? can you give a little more detail?

my most obvious symptom is my self destruction, i burn myself with cigarretes, even more with a boiling hot iron, and i love to cut myself with butcher knives and razors...its not that i'm in a physcosis when i do it, its just i'm mighty happy.
more symptoms are the usual ones, u know mania and major crashes of depression, hand and feet tremors, constant suicidal thoughts (and attempts), occasional hullicinations, can't concentrate....

I'm 43 and have been experience similar conditions all my life. Counseling has shown that much of it stems from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder - of the traumas of the emotion neglect and abuse I suffered as a child and the consequent discovery of multiple personalities.

In recent years I had two major psychoses one a year after the other and what I feel was a religious experience although now it seems I'm a full blown paranoid schizophrenic.

I can't offer much hope only to say that with introspection comes understanding and insight and a learning how to deal with it all. That the self-harm diminishes and the scars fade.

For a long while I was taking a combination of an anti-convulsant and valium and that worked for a long time until I started hearing voices. Now I take anti-psychotics and an anti-depressant and Valium. I say this because our drug names are different in Australia.

Try keeping a journal - sometimes this can help.

thank you for your reply although u don't seem very positive. i also take anti physcotic meds plus anti-depressants, mood stabilizers and relaxation pills. i had really creepy hallucinations and after i went through a long set of ect treatment it is actually controlled with the help of meds. would u tell me a bit more about ur symptoms?

My main symptoms are hearing voices, dissociation and depersonalization, depression and paranoia. My moods also tend to swing a bit and I often feel kind of flat.

It isn't all negative though. I had ten wonderful years with a very nice man which unfortunately ended when we got hooked on marijuana.

You can have your good times and your bad. You can go into recession and as you mature things get easier to deal with. I stopped self-harming and I'm got myself off the illegal kind of drugs. I managed to go to university and get a degree in Arts.

It's just hard knowing you're going to have problems all your life but then I'm a bit down at the moment and not seeing the many positive times I've had in my life.

It's not all bad.

I've been through the mill with mental hospitals and various diagnoses too. I was first diagnosed as bipolar,then later on schizo-affective, and then as having borderline personality disorder. I've never had shock therapy because I don't believe in it. It's taken me time,but I am not going back and forth in the hospital anymore because I've been involved in dialectical behavioral training. In the therapy groups I've learned skills on handling myself in a crisis and my relationships have improved.This program was developed by Marsha Linehan.I don't self-injure myself the way you have,but in the past I have toyed around with it,never leaving a serious mark. I think DBT might be a good therapy for you,you may want to research it.I think you really need to find a way to break the cycle of hurting yourself and suicide attempts and try to build up some self esteem.Try to pursue some interests that make you feel good about yourself where you are accomplishing something. Read some self-help or inspirational books.I care about you and feel free to message me.Good luck!