I am currently being treated for first episode psychosis. My doc suspects its schizophrenia but she also thinks there might be a mood component in there. Any other input please?
1. Colleague caught me a number of times staring into space.
2. She asked me a few times why I was ‘laughing’. I told her I wasn’t laughing, I was smiling. Was smiling at random thoughts in my head. She said it was ‘disturbing’.
3. Was feeling very confused
4. Lacked concentration and was unable to focus, was making mistakes on easy tasks at work.
5. Was writing to colleague at work and it got out of control I couldn’t stop writing. was jumping from one topic to the next, thoughts were racing.
6. Was snapping at family a lot.
7. Horoscopes I was reading felt like they were coming to life.
8. TV program appeared to be repeating the events of my day.
9. Felt as though I could morph into another person and experience their moods and symptoms (even the people on tv).
10. Felt like I had mind-reading abilities. For instance I was just thinking about a certain type of food and my mum brought it for me minutes later without me asking for it.
11. Was noticing more coincidences like these.
12. Not usually a spiritual person.
13. Felt mentally agitated and restless and was going to the toilet hundreds of times a day.
14. Didn’t have this problem at home, only at work.
15. Went to bed at around 10pm and woke up at around 3:30am to 4:00am.
16. Often skipped lunch. Ate very little.
17. Was reading into things too much.
18. Difficulty in verbally stringing sentences together, muddled, incoherent speech, so I needed to keep answers short.
19. Difficulty expressing my emotions.
20. Names, colours and numbers all seemed to take on meaning.
21. Felt that I was being watched
22. that my colleagues were plotting against me to remove me from my job.
23. Started to believe that I had done something wrong and that the police were after me.
24. That my computer at home was being monitored closely because I couldn’t delete my internet history.
It's sounds like you have so much going on. I was diagnosed with BPD 5 years ago. Their are so many different degrees of this disorder, and many times you may have more than just BPD. Its difficult living each day feeling confused, paranoid, upset, and feeling restless all the time. All I can do is to suggest you keep seeing your therapist, along with a psychiatrist. Keep a journal, write down everyday how you are feeling, what you may be feeling. Perhaps you can even figure out what might trigger these moods. Work carefully with your specialists. Acknowledge you do have a problem and hopefully you will get on the right medications that can help you through this. I am one of the lucky ones, I have been taking the same medication for 5 years now and feel happy, healthy, and normal again. Never be ashamed that you might have a mental disorder. It's not your fault, its many times a chemical imbalance of the brain. So many people do not want to take medications because many of them make them feel fatiqued, out of touch, a variety of symptoms. Just keep trying the medications until you feel like yourself again. All medications have side effects, not just antidepressants or sedatives. Please let me know how you are doing. Are you seeing a specialist at this point?
These all seem like psychotic symptoms more than mood disorder symptoms. I think it's schizophrenia, or a form, or possibly even schizotypal personality disorder. Just see how well the anti-psychotics work. If after about 6-8 weeks you experience mood swings or depression/mania, then schizoaffetive could be possible.
Hey, thanks for posting all the details, I can relate to all of it. I had been diagnosed with Bipolar but it didn't quite fit, cause I had some Schizophrenic symptoms too. I had audible hallucinations with it, but I could definately 'feel' what people where thinking etc....
I just made a lot of noise until I finally got a really experienced Psychyatrist who took three weeks taking information from me before specifically disagnosing Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type. What they diagnose is really only good for them to work out what drugs to put you on. Once they can get specific on the symptoms it is easier for them to pick the right type of medications. I can recommend starting on an antipsycotic first cause once you get a dose of reality it is easier to look clearly at the issues.