Dating Forum - Saying "I love you"

Relationships > Dating Forum > Saying "I love you"

Q: Saying "I love you"

asked by: OptimusMeow on September 3rd, 2008

New User

Well okay, this is kind of dumb, but I'm a girl and it's becoming a big deal to me. I'm nineteen and my BF of five months is 21, and we have a very solid, happy relationship. We were friends for about a year before getting together and have a lot in common, and we've never had a serious argument. In fact, any potential argument was just me being silly, and anytime he thinks I'm upset about something, he'll bring it to light and talk with me about it so I know I shouldn't be worried about it. K so long story short, we have a great relationship and care about each other and trust each other very much.

My thing is, I don't know how to tell him I love him. I feel like I've loved him for a very long time, and it seems like he feels the same way but I just can't tell. I don't know how to bring this up, and I don't want to freak him out.

I feel like telling someone you love them is really important in a relationship. I've been screwed over, and I feel like even though I'm young, I understand the difference now between love and infatuation.

Blah, guys? Advice? I don't know how to tell him and I want to so bad, but I'd be crushed if he didn't feel the same, or lied about it because he felt obligated to tell me. Am I thinking too hard about this?

Replies(5)

Mikolas

replied on September 4th, 2008

Active User, very eHealthy

I'm no expert on knowing how to love somebody or knowing when to say "I love you", but yes, I don't believe you should dwell on it so much. It probably won't feel right if not awkward if you decide to try blabbing it out one day after spending the entire night planning scenarios.

I'm sure you will know when to say it when the time comes, and no I'm not really the sentimental type so I'm not saying this cliche expression to give you delusions of hope. It's logical that having thought about this, it's a bit difficult for you to try searching for the right time to pop the phrase, but that is the part of the problem. It's a powerful emotion, it wasn't meant to be planned, or thought out, it will just come and hit you upside the head, and realizing that it is the right time to say that will probably come the same way.

illustriously fickle

replied on September 4th, 2008

Experienced User (online)

I do think that it's taking a risk. But you'll need to ask him is her feels the same. There's no use staying in a relationship that's not going where you'd like it to go. 5 months is a good enough time to declare your feelings and not have it be "Weird".

worrywart01

replied on September 4th, 2008

Extremely eHealthy

i agree...you've been dating 5 months and thats long enough...im never really the first to say "i love you" in relationships...but my boyfriend came out with it after about a month and a half of dating...ehh...kinda caught me offguard...but we've been together just over 2 years now so it must have been truthful....i think if thats how you feel you should go for it...as someone else said..you've been dating 5 months, thats plenty of time

bottledwater

replied on September 4th, 2008

New User

my girlfriend and i have always spent alot of time together, and she told me about a week after 1 month that she loved me while i was gone for a week training at a remote army base. and i couldent have been happyer, it was the highlight of my week.

at 5 months you definatly can come out with the love phrase and have him not get scared, if you are really nervous just add it on to the end of something. ie. "goodnight ----, i love you" if he doesent feel the same he has no pressure to say it back, and it takes the pressure off him if he did want to tell you.

if he doesent say it back, dont worry he might just need a bit more time. say it once or twice spaced out over the next few weeks or so, and eventually he will tell you the same.

if hes been around you for 5 months the love statement shouldent scare him.

OptimusMeow

replied on September 5th, 2008

New User

Thanks for all the advice guys, I'm feeling better about it.

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