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Sad over long distance boyfriend (high school sweet<3; 1st lo

I'm about to break up with my long distance boyfriend when I come home for Christmas break. I can't stop crying. It's light crying, not excessive but it still hurts so much. I love him but things between us have only been getting worse, although he fails to acknowledge it. I hoped he would change from all the times I kept mentioning it but he's the only one who can change himself if he really wants to that is. What really pushed me off the edge is his best friend is back with his ex who caused SO many problems between my boyfriend and I because she had feelings for my boyfriend and he would flirt back with her. I broke up with him because I was devastated and became depressed after the break up. It seemed like I wasn't the only one. After a few months, he showed me he turned over a new leaf. It was like he was a completely different person. He told me how much he missed me and I saw a look in his eyes I had never seen before. He even shed tears for me. I was so stunned. After insisting, I finally agreed to see him again. I found out his best friend had broken up with his ex while we broke up. He didn't contact her from what he told me since him and I broke up. He said he just didn't feel like talking to her anymore. Anyways, things were great until college time and I left to a college five hours away. As I stated before, things were getting worse (hardly talking, him not even being as sweet as he use to be over the phone or when I came down to visit) so I was already feeling uncomfortable. But now I found out from my mother whose friends with his that his best friend is going back out with his ex! My boyfriend didn't even tell me, probably because he knows how much I dislike her. She has no respect for others, or her boyfriend. She treats him like crap. But who am I to judge? I can't do this anymore, history is bound to repeat itself. He's with his best friend 24.7, and his best friend is going to be with his girl so he is bound to run into her and who knows what might happen. I can't continue going out with him because every day I'll live in fear thinking they're flirting. And my heart can't bear to go over the same thing. I love him so, but I know I have to call it off. It's best that way. Yet, I can't stop crying. Im so sad and I'm a little afraid that I might become "depressed" like the last time we broke up. From the beginning during his insisting, I knew the girls that caused so many problems would always link back to him and I ignored my better judgement because of my stupid emotional self. If I had just sticked to my mind, I wouldn't be in this pickle but I don't regret it since I finally saw how kind and loving he could be. I'm sorry for venting but I'm just so sad. Please help?
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replied December 19th, 2009
Oh, sweetie, I'm so sorry. I'm not completely in the same boat, but I'm in a long distance relationship too. My boyfriend Zack lives 1200 km away from me (12 hours driving) and, although we were best friends for two years before we started dating almost a year ago (I'm 16 and he's 18 , and so we know each other really well and are able to communicate well, it's still heartbreakingly difficult. I'm eleven weeks pregnant with our first baby right now and I only get to see him every few months. The problem with a long-distance relationship is that the stress of not being together puts unnecessary strain on the relationship and can make it even harder to communicate. I think you're making the right decision for you, which is the important thing. You had a really tough call to make, but if he isn't contributing to the relationship the way he needs to be, then you have to be strong. Good luck, and message me anytime! =)
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replied December 27th, 2009
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Hi BabyGrlJ,
It is time to put your big pants on and grow up. Move on with your life. He is to much stress in your life, focous on your school work in college, you have outgrown him and ready to move on to bigger and better things. It is painful and it is difficult to leave someone whom you have shared so many memories both good and bad with but move on you must do. You are no longer a baby girl but a developing, smart, mature young lady now. Hold your head up and look up to see what you are missing....A new you, a new opportunity to make a new path.

Good Luck dear,

Faded Rose
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