I feel deeply sorry at the sad demise of your husband. He remains blessed in the Garden!

I will try my best not to lecture but I just want to say blaming him for what he couldn't do is not going to help your cause.

You should try to look for a job. You may not get your desired job immediately but I guess you have to start from somewhere. For the moment, I can't say anything more since you haven't given enough info.

I need more info on this issue. Sorry............

I am so sorry honey for your loss..Losing your husband is losing a part of you and I know you have to feel a part of you has died as well..Unfortuantely ,it would have been easier had there been insurance to help you along..

I don't know how old you are but your title is Book Chick..Are you working at the moment? If you are you may want to dig in and put in some more hours to help take care of htings..I know it's going to be hard but it will also help you to work alot of this anger out..I would call everywhere you owe and let them know the cirucmstances..You will want to make copies of the death certificate for proof you aren't just saying this to get by..(Many people have milked the establishment so take there requests wiht a grain of salt)..

Was your husband ever in the military? Were you married to him at the time? Did he retire from the military? If yes check military.com for possible benefits..

If, you aren't working try looking into state programs where you can get a trade school going..Many states will help you along with this..They look at it as a way to keep you off welfare but also as a way to give you a start at life anew..

Don't make any judgements/major purchases/sells etc until your mind is more clear..You may want to be sure your answering machine does not have anything with your name on it-just sayleave a message with your number and i will call you back..Be cautious of people coming around..when the obit goes into the paper you will probably get some weird calls if you haven't already..Don't change your monthly bill statement names as it will continue to show your husbands name to anyhone who might think you are alone..

I am here anytime you want to talk..I check emails every few hours..kd

Thank you for your reples. I am on disability, have been for 9 years with fibromyalgia. This contributed to our financial woes. I worked for 9 years at home as a medical transcriptionist, but recently lost two of those jobs because I could not focus; I am on oxygen 24/7 - trying to stop smoking - and feeling like it is the end of the world. The social service agencies are very slow. I do not expect people to take care of me...trying to deal with so many financial issues, living on little food and no money left over, forms to fill out, little help from family - sounds bleak, huh? This from a person who was always so positive - love to dance, young and spirited. It is just a down time now. Thank you again to all. My name is bookchick but I can't even pick up my beloved books to read. I am a spiritual person and I do believe things will indeed work out. Thank you so much for your replies and advice. bookchick

Bookchick: I have Fibro..i am so sorry this illness has done do much to you..You can go online and there is sound books where they will read to you..I am in faith and believe that we do get stronger as all lays upon our shoulders..Like you I prefer no more strength at this time..Can you get food stamps,assistance with bills? Try that ok..Remember to put in a death certificate so that they can see you do need the help..I am here when you want to talk..Just click on my picture and send a PM which makes it more private and quciker for me to get to you..

Thank you, fibro pal. They gave me disability right away with lots of medical documentation. Stress does indeed bring it on in varying degrees in people. I have been all over the web, all over the sights. Some of us suffer minimally; some go on to other illnesses. I hated to give up my job nine years ago. I had just taken a great job in a hospital when I became very ill with fibro. I am not familiar with how to click on photo for privacy; I am applying for food stamps, etc., but the social service agencies have social workers that are really slow; one was really disoriented and I had to start the process all over again. I am waiting for her to help me fill out the application for subsidized housing, the waiting list is endless. I try to take small bites from the elephant every day; it is really tough now. hope to hear from u. bookchick

Hi Honey..I have added you as a contact.yuo will get a message stating this..will be easeir for you to contact me..

Have you looked on line-I thought all states had online applications for help when someone is disabled..

For me there are times I cna barely move but if I don't I know I will start to freeze in place and the pain is worse..

I have the Fibro, sjorgens, osteoarthrits, keratoconus, raynauds, TMJ, with my jaw locking up..It is the sjorgens SJorgesn is doing more damage than anything at the moment..I am so dry I can only take in soft foods and fluids..I have 5 discs in my back that are out and (1) fused disc in my neck the one below the fixed disc is inoperable I was told..
Even still I am able to get to work and thankfully it is a sit down job or I wouldnt be able to..For now I am thankful I can work but there are days I wish I could just crawl up in the bed and sleep..Don't you feel like that too..Just plain worn out..keep in touch..kd

How are you?
Did your helper come to assist with the paperwork?
We have had multiple rain storms move through over the past few weeks..Makes you ache alot..

bookchick, I am sorry for your loss and your personal physical & emotional pain that you going through.

kdlee & bookchick this may work for your fibromyalgia pains. It did for me and I suffered terribly for 8 long years...ones that I will never get back.

Google Empowering Your Health. I tried the anti-inflammatory diet for 30 days (as it starts in the digestive tract and migrates throughout the body causing pain in some individuals...like us )

My pain level went from a 10 to a 0 in within that time frame and after 30 days begin to introduce different foods into your diet and see how you body reacts. If I fall off the wagon, so-to-speak, and digest foods that I know cause pain...well, then I deserve it. Sometimes by eating the wrong foods over a period of time can and will build up toxins. Processed foods and cows dairy products are the absolute worse culprits.

By the way I lost 8 pounds within the first 10 days...not a bad side effect

bookchick, I wish you the absolute best during this difficult time in your life. There will be better days.

Zig



I have this diet in the fibro forum. Wish I had found it sooner than 8 years.

zigemyster-I looked up the empowering your health..I have only two problems and that is it's really expensive to get started and I have a horible time with pills most hit my stomach and explode making me exrememly ill..Vitamins unless they are coated and small come back up as fast as they go down..Maybe after I ahve the EGD next month can tell more why and go from there..I do like the natural way..I am fortuante in many around me do holistic/natural medicenes including my son..Not saying I won't try it just have to figure out how..Thanks for sharing, I saved the site to my desk top so can keep working on it.. kd..

Kidlee and Zigemyster: Thank you so much for the website. I was on anti-inflammatory foods for years, but now, I have to change the way I eat because I cannot afford to eat as well. Veggies and fruits are luxuries for me right now. I am still waiting for the social worker to finish up my application for state aid and food stamps, but because I am not a senior, only on disability, she does not believe I will be eligible. I also have discs out in my back, but received injections two years ago and am careful not to lift or bend the wrong way. Swimming was very helpful for me at one time, but, again, cannot afford memborships anymore. I will tell you one thing: talk about empowerment: in the future, I will never allow anyone to take over what little money I have; Hubby had bipolar issues and did take medication, but by the time he was diagnosed, the damage had been done. That is indeed another story. The pain from the fibromyalgia and the neurological symptoms is constant; I have learned to live with it. Bless the two of you. I wake up in the morning with an elephant in the room. I take a small bite; that is all I can do now. Tomorrow I will take another bite; I have to believe things will get beter. Bookchick

Honey one day at a time is all you can do..I don't understnad how you could not get food stamps..unreal..this kinda stuff makes me mad.. I don't blame you about watching over your money from nowon..I hope you meet someone really nice and caring so you will have help all the way around..kd

Hello everyone, I just lost my husband on July 10th, 2009. He had stage 4 bone cancer. I feel so very lost without him and wished it was me that was gone and not him. He has two kids from a previous marriage, he have none. But my step kids are wonderful. I feel so bad for them and I am trying to be there for them, but having a difficult time helping myself. I miss him dearly and want him to come back home.

TaniaD:

I am so sorry for your loss. I know what it is like to feel lost without your best friend. I also have step children. I take one day at a time, sometimes one minute at a time. I am dealing with things as best I can but every day I shudder to get the mail; there is always something new for me to worry about, to deal with. Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing. bookchick