I understand that you are feeling really sad and maybe a bit hopeless. You may be suffering from depression which includes feeling sad alot of the time, not being interested in the things you used to enjoy, feeling hopeless, worthless, or guilty, and a host of other symptoms, such as difficulty sleeping. You can see your doctor or therapist. If you don't have someone like that to tell, you can go to your local emergency room and they will determine your diagnosis and recommend treatment. If you are feeling suicidal at all, you should not delay in seeking help from a doctor.