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Rough sex too rough ?

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my question is my husband and I have to be adventerous when it comes to sex and pleasure because he is parylized from the waist down. We tend to get very freaky and daring i.e. fingers, toys etc.. we sometimes use vegetable oil as lube and I was afraid that this could cause som kind of infection or something. Also he sometimes goes over board with his fingers (4) at a time and 1 in my other end It feels great at the time but hurts like hell the next day, sometimes I even spot, When is rough sex to Rough for health reasons, I always go back to being tight the next day. Is this safe?
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