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ladyT02

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Right to see daughter denied
Posted: 03-18-08 22:45pm
Mad many of you have read my post about my boyfriend wanting to go visit his daughter. i find out yesterday that he called her to make arrangements as to who was going to pick him up at the airport.

she said that she didnt think it was a good idea that he go visit his daughter because her current boyfriend of 6mnths said no. that he would be upset, etc you know the whole ex thing. so in a fit of rage he cusses her out (i think rightly so cause she had wanted him to pay for EVERYTHING, then she didnt want to send her daughter alone on the plane, she had us on the edge because she was so indesisive.) so now she doesnt allow him to see his daughter cause her boyfriend would get upset. absolutely childish. Mad

so she tells him "im not about to risk my relationship just cause you want to come see your daughter!!" are you kidding me???!?!
i was excited to meet his lil girl because she had said she was going to send her. then she says no and were all bummbed out. then she wants my guy to make 2 round trips totalling up to almost 1200 just to pick her up and drop her off. then she finally decides no because her boyfriend of 6mnths! would be uncomfortable. Mad

so many things are running through my mind, im speechless, infuriated,enraged, because her and her guy are acting so childishly. if she was a real woman she would have told her guy "you knew i had a kid so you knew this moment would come lets be adults about him wanting to visit his daughter after 3 years" i say act like a real woman and have some self respect for yourself, seriously letting your boyfriend of 6mnths decide for you?! you gotta be kidding me

their both inconsiderate children, and she in my eyes will always be unfit to make any type of decision on her own cause obviously shes still a child even though shes 23. so now im trying to find out if there is anything my boyfriend can do legally...if anybody has some tips i'd love to hear them. right now im just trying to comfort him through this because he had really wanted to go see his kid. and it seriously hurts me seeing him like this
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hrtz2mch

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Posted: 03-19-08 10:15am
he could prolly petition for custody or at least court order visits
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PenguinsRus

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Posted: 03-19-08 10:22am
Agreed. He should go to court. As long as he wasn't abusive or terrible, he has some rights to see her and the court will see and grant that. They'd probably wonder why she's acting so juvenile and denying her child the right to see her father.
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ladyT02

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Posted: 03-21-08 16:42pm
the day before he told me what had happened he came home super drunk and upset so i asked him what was wrong and didnt push it when he said nothing. i know when he was ready he would tell me. the next day going to a friends party is when he told me the whole thing. he had called her and thats when she told him her boyfriend said he would be upset,angry, that he didnt want my boyfriend to even step foot in his house(which technically isnt his its hers...whole different story tho) and he started cursing my boyfriend out. my guy was upset that she was being so childish and naive as to let her boyfriend decide for her and that they were both acting like teenagers instead of adults.

so he cursed her and her boyfriend ina fit of anger thats it. he hasnt called her since...nothing. he had even sent her some pictures so that his lil girl would see what he looks like now Sad that just made me so sad and pissed me off cause how dare she be so weak as to let a man decide something like that for her. anyways thanks guys hes always been responcible towards his daughter so i do think he should fight it.
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LostInWI

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Posted: 03-26-08 11:23am
Not sure what state he is in as the laws differ slightly from state to state.
But there are a few questions that are unanswered.
1. you said he is responsible toward his child. Is he paying child support?
2. Is it joint custody?
3. Based on what you have written so far, I would guess the girl is placed with the ex as primary custody.
4. What is the reason for the distance?

As for transportation costs for visitation, again, determined by the state, but generally the costs are split 50/50

It might get expensive for him, if he is not currently paying child support he loses a lot of strength in the fight, but not a complete loss. He will have to start paying it.
He should talk to a lawyer. This don't go away.
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ladyT02

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Posted: 03-26-08 18:43pm
he is paying childsupport. when the baby was born he didnt get a DNA test done(which was dumb in his part i think, cause he himself told me she was a "little player")

2. its not joint custody, before he got hurt in irag and became disabled he had tried coming to an agreement with her about monthly support payments(he was willing to give her $300 a month for child support) but she listened to her family instead and sued him, and now she only gets $180 a month.

3. she does have full custody of the kid. if he wants to visit her which he was planning to do she had wanted him to pay for the entire trip totaling $1200. she had not saved up anything and was not willing to put any money on her part.

4. he still wanted to be responcible for the baby even tho he didnt love the mom. he wanted to come back home back to his parents and 3 siblings and he did. and now he lives with me.
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Xalleah08

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harsh!!!!!!
Posted: 06-01-08 19:35pm
I am truely sorry to hear that she won't let him see his daughter. I know that my dad was bummed out enough that he only got to see me 2-3 days a week! I really don't know what to do in this situation. Unfortunatly when the mother has custody and there isn't a visitation agreement worked out through the court, it is pretty hard to make her let him see his daughter. I hope that everythign goes better and that she comes to her senses and realizes how rediculous she is being. Good luck!
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