I'm a male posting to the Sexual Health - Women forum because I think I'll get better advice here than on the men's side.
In short, my girlfriend has a retroverted uterus and a small frame generally, and my penis is above average in terms of length. This means that in a variety of sexual positions, she experiences a pain she's described as "like getting punched in the abdomen." Likewise, certain depths and modes of sexual expression (i.e., semi-rough sex) are out of the question, which leaves us both a little sad and frustrated.
Needless to say, we're looking for ways to make sex more tolerable, and to expand the range of what's possible for us. This includes getting more methodical about positions that do and don't work, for a start, which leads me to my question to all of you.
Understanding that every body (male and female) is different, do you have any experiences that can help us here? Whether it's positions that work well, sex toys that help (I've heard about rings that effectively shorten the penis by keeping a portion of it outside the vagina—any luck with them?), or anything else you can think of—let's hear it.
I should say we're also both naturally inclined towards an "a la carte" approach to different sexual acts, which helps keep us both satisfied, too. I mention this because "Try more oral" seems to be some of the most common advice one finds online, and we're already there.
Well first of all, any position where she's in control is going to feel more comfortable for her, because if it's hurting, she can pull back. I don't personally have experience with this, except at certain times during my cycle my cervix gets really sore if anything gets near it, so at those times my SO and I have to improvise a bit and go less deep.
Also, yes there are rings you could try. Usually you'll find them under the category "toys for couples" and many vibrate or have other special features. Worth trying even if you don't have a problem! But most of them are thick, and stop the penis from entering completely (but still feel great for both partners). I've tried one, they work nicely, although I've never tried using it for a size problem, just for fun.
Or any position where she keeps her legs together. I know this sounds weird, but for example: if you're on top, instead of bending her legs or wrapping them around you or whatever, have her straighten them and pull them together. Or spooning, which allows for more shallow penetration. Also doggy style, but straightened out- enter her doggy style but then let her kind've lay down so you're on top but she's facing downwards. That would be more shallow penetration as well. With most of these, you'll also get added friction from rubbing against her thighs, which should feel pretty good.
Glad to know that there are other couples looking for the same advice. Have you found any techniques that work well yet? We have been married for a year & a half and have yet to find something that helps allot. Let me know if you found any new ideas. Thanks for the post,
try this have your girl on the bottom in missionary and have her put her legs up to her chest and that will also make her legs close a bit more and you wont beable to go in as deep and it also feels really great because of the friction
I read your original post. I have a retroverted uterus I find that the missionary position with my fiance with my knees bent to my chest with either my lower legs straight out or resting on his shoulders is good. Also and it could just be me, that went doing it from behind that if u keep ur legs together (or even apart) if u arch ur back toward the ceiling its pleasurable ; ) hope it helps....
I have a retroverted uterus as well. I am almost always on top, so that I control the depth. We also spoon and I lay under him with my legs to my chest, that way I can gently push my feet into his belly if he is going too deep. But that position is not for all lol, it can get uncomfortable and can be hard if you don't have the flexibility. I have never used the ring because DH finds those tight and uncomfortable. But there are always different ways and different methods. You have to experiment and find the one that fits you and your woman. A retroverted uterus is generally no big deal but it can hurt during sex. It is not per se the uterus itself, its the position that the uterus is in. It can make your lower back feel like it is going to fall off. At least it does for me sometimes.
I think I have this and I'm scare ]= that's just how I feel when I have sex
I just lost my virginity like 2months ago or 3 I read on a Internet page that retroverted uterus can cause me to not b able to conceived and that's really sad ]= I'm scared I don't even want to go to the doctor to find out
Thanks so much, motherofhighspiritedones. Really nice to hear not just what you've found works and doesn't work specifically, but also a little about how you've experimented to find that stuff out in the first place.
I have been told i have a retroverted uterus. However, I usually experience severe pain when I am on top. My partner often says that "something seems to be in the way" when we try different positions. Its frustrating sometimes for both of us. I also have very painful periods as well, often making me bed-ridden with heatpacks and constant attention from him as my only relief.
Is there anything anyone can recommend for my situation? I cant find anything on the internet that explains my situation, because the woman on top is supposed to be a better position?
I have read just the opposite. Woman on top missionary is the MOST painful because you're basically poking at your internal organs. I have a retroverted uterus as well and am looking for some answers too. I'm losing hope. Every time I have sex with my husband, it is painful and sometimes excruciating. What's worse is that he doesn't understand and it's obvious that he blames me for the lack of sex.
i feel your pain
and your post makes me sad to read.
i have a retroverted uterus as well aparently and get the painful periods. it also hurts me to be on top sometimes during sex.. what i''ve found though is that when me and my bf are on the side having sex, with my one leg under him and the other on top, not wrapped around him but more straight,(tense) and in the air a bit it gives me control as to where it hits and has felt pretty amazing/painless a few times
i think i do agree with motherofhighspiritedones that
"it''s not the uterus itself but the position it''s in"
....even though it can be so painful to find that right position...and for alot of people maybe not even worth it wich is COMPLETELY understandable
Hi -- Sorry, I posted a version of this a while back that quoted somebody else's profane description of certain positions and it got rejected. So I'm rewriting and reposting now; so sorry if the original upset or offended anyone:
Topic title: retroverted uterus and sex
Posted: 12.03.2010 04:25:05
In our experience (I'm the original poster), the argument for woman-on-top is that you have total control. Which only helps if your inner thighs are in great shape, because (as I gather) exercising those muscles for the whole sexual encounter is exhausting. But it's worth noting that woman-on-top does allow for much, much deeper penetration than other positions.
I'm sure it depends on individual bodies, but we've found spooning to be very good. Also, per Georgia59's first comment above, a version of missionary with her legs closed works well.
Also, please pardon the forthcoming profanity, but somebody wrote in to Dan Savage (sex & relationship columnist) with a mostly unrelated problem to which Savage replied with something that, believe it or not, has been fun and pretty stimulating for us both.
OK, sorry again! They edited my post to remove a link to Wikipedia, which I included in place of the profane description I mention. So just google "intercrural sex" or "interfemoral sex" and you can find more valid descriptions of the act from medically legitimate sites.
I have a tilted uterus and have experienced the "getting punched in the stomach" feeling one too many times. So we started doing our homework and trying out different positions. And doggie style is the winner. My husband says it''s the deepest he''s ever gotten which surprised both of us. It also gives me the BEST orgasm ever - lots of g-spot stimulation. I don''t know if it matters, but I put my bum in the air and head on the bed...I think the angling down of my upper body might have something to do with the comfort. Anyway, hope this helps!
I also have a very tilted uterus- my gyno couldn't even find my cervix for a good 10 min during my last pelvic exam. I experience EXCRUCIATING pain during menstruation. My boyfriend is average sized, and even when he's very very gentle, with adequate lubrication, sex is horribly painful. This is so sad. I want to be intimate with him, and in the past, we have had amazing sex, and the feeling that accompanies is out of this world. This problem has gradually gotten worse. The past weekend we were out of town for a little mini vacation, staying in a very nice hotel, and we tried to make love and I ended up bawling my eyes out and couldn't get him withdrawn quick enough. It doesn't seem to matter how deeply he penetrates at all, or how aroused I am, it's horrible. We've tried countless positions and the only a few seem to provide any kind of relief:
we lay on our sides facing eachother, I place my bottom leg over his shoulder (I'm fairly flexible)or with my knee against my chest with my foot on his chest and my top leg around his body or at a 45 degree angle with my foot flat to the bed, and he slowly penetrates and grinds against me. I don't know if it's the angle that does it, but it feels great, nealry pain free, We both reach orgasm, and it also provides excellent intimacy: we can see eachothers face, kiss, and explore eachother with our hands.
Sometimes, another position that works fairly well is like missionary, except legs bent at a 45 degree angle, knees towards my chest, angled to one side.
Also, a variation of spooning where my body lays at a 90 degree angle, bent at the waist, legs parallel to him, with one leg draped over his hips. This doesn't feel as intimate because our we can't kiss or look at each others faces, but it feel wonderful, and he's free to use his hands for manual stimulation.
I also have a retroverted uterus. I am young and this is the time where I am just now experiencing these things! One thing to NEVER try that may feel awesome to you but will be sooo painful for her is you off of a surface, her legs on your shoulders, it is super deep penetration and hurts soooooo badly. Found that out the hard way and disappointed my boyfriend. What works for us is me laying on the bed with legs closed and him entering from behind, feels AHHHMAZING, and not just for me. Give it a try
I just found out yesterday that I have a retroverted uterus. So some of these suggestions are great, but doggie style has always been painful too, for some reason. One that does work is similar, involves me lying face down on the bed and him standing behind me, with my legs wrapped around his waist. This works because we have a very high bed, but may work with him kneeling in other situations.
Does anyone know of any exercises or anything that can be done to somewhat reverse the tilt, or at least temporarily make it less "retroverted"? Thanks!
I also suffer from tipped uterus. No pain at all!! I actually prefer deep penetration. Maybe my uterus is wayyyy back there... Ive also had 5 kids with no luck of having it move back!!Finding it hard to find positions 2 achieve orgasm though?
i am in my 60-ees,my boyfriend is in his 40-ees,also with a tipped uterus..3 kids,5 miss carries..i to find it hard to have an orgasm..when he has an orgasm and i don't,it makes him feel like he is not doing his part..i get very aroused and we have tried different positions..i can stimulate myself to and orgasm,why can't he?
My Fiance' suffers from a tipped uterus, and sex is so painful in all the positions that we have tried that we have resorted to only having anal intercourse. This has been a very helpful to keeping our relationship successful, we would both very much like to have the option of vaginal intercourse. Has anybody tried surgery to reverse this?
I'm glad you've found that anal sex has been both pleasurable and helped keep your relationship successful.
I too have tried it, and enjoyed it quite a bit.
One problem I encountered, though is that it stimulated an issue with problems with the anal sphincter - essentially producing a type of "incontinence".
This is the only reason I no longer participate in anal sex despite also having a tilted uterus.
I don't want to rain on your parade, just give you some information about possible long-term impacts.
Wishing you well with your Fiance.