I recently had an episode where I was visiting a friend and using drugs which unfortunately, one of the biggest issues I have and I remember everything...That is the problem someone there put me in a life threatning situation and I remember a horrible thing that had happened in the past...My mind snapped and I wasn't myself for almost 4 days...and I could recongnize that I wasn't right and began to talk about alot of issues...I know that my drug use played alot here and it probably id the reason why I still fall off...I am trying very hard...but, I cannot seem to find the help I need...here in this state...I have been seeing a dr...for Bi-Polar...but I have reason to believe after all this...that I am not Bi-Polar...but, suffering from alot of personal issues that I brought upon myself during drug use...I don't want to fall again...and I don't want to lose my mind again...Help

By the way I was using cocaine and xanex.