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August 22nd, 2010
Hi, I'm 19 and I am used to the dynamics of the 19 year old relationships. However I have just begun seeing a 22 year old guy (23 in like a week) and I am struggling to find...balance. He is everything I have ever wanted in a guy and I am trying so hard to not let that blind me.

Anyway, With him being 22 I don't quite understand how the relationship works. With guys my age I can pretty much keep as long as I want but I have never been 22 before, I don't know what runs through his head or what the expectations are in the relationship. We've only been on two dates working on a third and he lives two hours away. He has to come see me or meet me and friends places cause I cant drive at the moment.

I don't know if I am allowed to call him, text him or facebook/e-mail him at random...I don't know when I am supposed to be the one to message him first, should I wait before replying when he messages me...and what about sex, is it expected because he drives pretty far for me, or do all 22 year olds have sex early in the relationship? I grew up submerged in "the game" and it works with guys my age but I fear that I will push this guy away with games like I tend to do with most guys. I don't want to chase him away I want to see where we could go with this.
sincerely,
19 going on 22
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SeizetheDay
replied August 22nd, 2010
Experienced User
First of all, guys are not like girls at all, there is not much difference between a 19 year old guy and a 22 year old guy other than the fact that he can hit clubs and drink with his buds. If that's the kind of guy he is, then you have to ask yourself, do I want a guy like that? You also have to ask yourself, do you think it's healthy to be in a 2 hour distance relationship. I think you need to know more about him before you really pursue anything.
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Cadence
replied August 22nd, 2010
There is a difference with this guy, I've gone on dates with 2 other 22 year olds that were either stuck with the 19 year old brain and one that was a serious work-a-holic and alcoholic (i know the two dont really go well together) and we just fooled around.

This guy is almost 23 (i know that isnt where the difference is) he is starting his final year of schooling for his back up plan job and is also very good at his dream job. His manners when we go out or talk or anything are very good. His language is almost 100% clean. He isnt an avid partier. At least 5 people he is friends with (that are his age or younger) are married and he has made refferance to things like kids (that we both want them just not right now lol).

The long distance doesnt bother me because it is only two hours and it is only one of the details.

And with the getting to know him, thats what we're doing, we are in the early stages of dating we've only been on a couple and they have been great. I think I just need to communicate the fact that him being three years older does actually bother me a bit (when he asked me I said no because I have been fine with that age gap twice before) because I dont understand how it should work with the phone calls and all that good stuff lol.
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Cadence
replied August 22nd, 2010
oh and sorry i forgot to thank you for replying I really appreciate it you did give me something to think about Maria V
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