Relationship after cheating

Hi my name is Yvette. I have been with my boyfriend Micheal for two years now. I knew him as a friend for a year before going out with him, I started the realthionship with another man in my life named Angel so I practically cheated. This went on for about 6 months till they both found out. My current boyfrind Micheal was the guy on side. I was just confused of being in love with two men at the same time or maybe just a simple crush. Then they found out and they were both very upset. I realized who I wanted to be with I ended up staying with my frind Micheal and now my current boyfriend. We have been together for two years but now we always fight and he gets so jelous he constantly checks my phone,and is deprresd he syas it is my fault. Micheal has now entered the point where he uses meth, and the same thing comes out his mouth, "it is your fualt I am like this." I feel bad for being with these two men at the same time but I love my currnent boyfriend, and I try showing it.