I have been cutting for six years and I have lots and lots of scars, unfortunetly even the ones from when i first started are still very visible and many are kelliods because thats how deep they were for me the kelliods are not genetic. when people ask me about my arm I often get agrivated with myself and become ashamed. You think this would make me not want to cut but it makes me want to, and I really don't want to get into this like i was in it because I hate lying to everyone. I have a few fresh cuts and you think i would stop but I just want to cut more and more. I don't understand myself at all I keep changing my appearance like in october i shaved half my head(I'm a girl) and I keep changing it. I hate me, I really do and I don't know what to do with myself.
Ive gone through the same thing. I started about two years ago, bout a year ago, i stopped for about 3 months then started again. It want only untill Augest that i had stopped again. I started taking up meditation and tryed excercises that help me love myself. It gets hard at times but i just have to tell myself, that if i keep going on, i wont ever be able to stop, nobody will be able to recognise me, and ill never be able to love myself. It helps to pick up a hobby as well.
Im15 going through the same process as you are. The longest iv'e gone without cutting is about a week, and that week was absolutely bloody hell. Since i am a cutter and have relapsed many times, all i can tell you is to talk to someone. Someone you trust, a counsler, teacher, or even a family member.
Iv'e just started therapy and i can say that it helps.
Good luck to you