Your going to go through withdrawl in many different ways. One is how it affects you lifestyle. Remember, you were at a high and full of energy and accomplishment. Now, you have to do all of this in a world of reality where there is stress and more stress. There is no easy way out. Adderal is soooo addicting it is horrid. And yes, the shame of it is it will have an impact on your creativity. But, if you had this same creativity before starting the drug, after withdrawl (and I mean stop completely and not a just take a few) you should (with will power) be able to get that sense of self confidence you need and do the same wonderful work you aare use to doing but without the drug.
From what I have read in you post. I must admit, it might be in your best interest to get to an inhous rehab treatment program. I'll tell ya, it really help going through this a lillte less torture for you. Let someone that know what to do help you get through it.

I wish you the best,
Carrie

I just got off of adderall after 2 years. It was really helpful when I was in high school. I was taking 30 mg once a day and getting straight A's. When I went to college, unfortuantly I was unable to control myself and got completly addicted to this disgusting drug. I was taking 150 mg, which may not seem like "anything" to some poeple, but it was more then enough for me. I was going three days without sleeping or eating. I would just surf the web all day looking at sites like "how to do well in school" and yada yada but in reality I was so out of strung out on adderall I would just skip school and sit there on the computer. I stopped socializing, broke up with my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years, and become a shell of myself.
I stopped taking it for a week and then relapsed (?) and took 200 mg in 2 days. Then I stopped taking it for another week and RETOOK IT THIS WEEKEND.
I am honestly so disappointed in myself.

I am with you on this.
I'll support you if you support me!

This "medicine" is so addicting it's scary.

I just got off of adderall after 2 years. It was really helpful when I was in high school. I was taking 30 mg once a day and getting straight A's. When I went to college, unfortuantly I was unable to control myself and got completly addicted to this disgusting drug. I was taking 150 mg, which may not seem like "anything" to some poeple, but it was more then enough for me. I was going three days without sleeping or eating. I would just surf the web all day looking at sites like "how to do well in school" and yada yada but in reality I was so out of strung out on adderall I would just skip school and sit there on the computer. I stopped socializing, broke up with my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years, and become a shell of myself.
I stopped taking it for a week and then relapsed (?) and took 200 mg in 2 days. Then I stopped taking it for another week and RETOOK IT THIS WEEKEND.
I am honestly so disappointed in myself.

I am with you on this.
I'll support you if you support me!

This "medicine" is so addicting it's scary.

hi.
i am new to this site. i was prescribed ritalin when i was in elementary school, around 3rd grade [btw, i think it's ridic that CHILDREN, TODDLERS, are now being diagnosed with ADHD, every freaking kid is hyper active, and gets distracted VERY easily] anyways, the ritalin gave me asthma attacks so i was taken off of it. i was then prescribed adderall--still in elementary school...i hated taking ANY kind of medicine so i would tell my mom i took it and really wouldn't, or she'd have to force me to take it, and eventually she got tired of making me take it and made the choice up to me; which i didn't take it. i am now, 19, going to be 20 in a week. i graduated high school with alot of emotional issues, and just had alot of baggage and eventually lost all my friends, became FAT, and etc. [btw, i was in a VERY unhealthy relationship with my boyfriend @ the time, which prolonged for 4 years] i went to a university for my freshman year, basically failed out, or rather, couldn't go back to that school b/c of 3 other kind of drug citations from my school police...but i guess that's a different story. i started to realize that adderall was making me lose weight RAPID and i was getting SO much attention from guys [which was neeeeded b/c of my breakup with my boyfriend of 4 years]...so i kept taking it....and taking it and taking it. eventually i got all the way up to taking like 180 mg a day, some days more if i felt i was fat or needed it. alot of kids abuse adderall to help them in school, and to focus [even if they aren't diagnosed w/ adhd], i didn't take it to focus or do better in school, in fact i did worse, alot worse, i didn't go to class, it was rare very rare if i did, i snorted addy's in the bathroom of my dorm, in my dorm room, in the bathroom of the freaking computer labs...i lost A TON of weight, which was my goal right? too bad it took over my life. i started dealing it to my friends, and started to run low on MY own supply, so i stole my brother's HUGE bottle of adderall xr [wasn't taking it anymore] which did the same thing for me. my parents got suspicious about my RAPID talking, and weight loss, etc. i admitted to my mom that i was taking alot more than i should have, i put it very very non chalonty; like it was no big deal that i was taking that much. she got very worried, and said i NEEDED to stop right away or else i could die, b/c my heartbeat would become too fast and stop....unfortunatly she didn't know how addicted i was. once she found out though, she immediatly took my script away and was NOT giving in. they kicked me out of their house [when summer hit and college was over] they let me stay in one of their buildings that they own for the summer. during that time i was supposed to get my sh*t together...again, unfortunately that did not happen. i was doing other drugs, to maintain my weight so my weight was good, losing even more weight...i met an amazing guy that summer, and am still with him, it's been 8 months...if u've ever heard of the saying that 'love makes you fat' well that well applys for me...i got FAT, alot fatter, and i still am...i earned enough trust from my mom to get my prescription back about 4 months ago. i promised her i wasn't going to abuse it..which i haven't, until about a week ago. in fact, i didn't even really have A DESIRE to take the drug, bc i KNEW that i had an addiction earlier and was afraid that would return, [being addicted to anything isn't a good feeling and once u've been 'free' from something, u really never want to have to go back to those feelings] well, it's only been a week, but i love the feeling, and i now remember why i was addicted and how easily it is TO GET addicted...i can already tell i've lost some weight and i've had SOO much energy than before, i'm going to the gym and being able to actually work out, and im never hungry b/c i take so much of it...so no calories to be absorbed...anyways, i am now left with feelings of depression, kind of severe depression, at least when im coming down from the 'high' of taking such a high dosage....really severe actually, i used to be a cutter, and stopped for a longgg time, and i actually cut myself 2 nights ago..not bad, i never actually want to kill myself when i cut it's just to release anger that i can't seem to find any other way of getting rid of....i live with my boyfriend and he said that he hates how i act when im coming down from adderall..it's caused multiple fights already and it's only been a week. i want to lose weight FOR HIM though...i dont blame my weight gain on him, it was my fault..but yeah...i am an easily jealous person...and now that i've gained weight, u can def tell my eyes are getting greener and greener every day...even though he doesn't have wandering eyes or nething like that...i guess it's just a personal issue...i have ranted for a long time...and i guess am done...if anyone wants to comment...please do i guess...i am kind of a sensitive person so don't be cruel...i am not asking for advice, i guess i am just looking for anyone that can relate...thanks. [if you couldn't already tell, i'm 'high' on adderall right now...so that's probably why i wrote this much]

Don't worry, because it all comes back. No, you won't be high, but it all comes back. When I realized what was happening, I had been prescribed anti-depressants on top of the high dose of adderall... I smoked tons of weed for a while. I recommend that if life isn't cutting it, but know that you CAN wait until nighttime. Eventually, weed gets in the way, too, and then you stop smoking that. Edibles could be the way for you. Hash is cheaper for those. It's a better way to look at the world. Whatever you do, don't do THC and amphetamines at the same time; it's a waste of human potential.

So many people have been addicted to speed... If you stop, you get your life back. I hear it takes 2 years with adderall, before you can forget it. I am still waiting, patiently. Use those two years to discover yourself. For weight gain, look up trophology. Take digestive enzymes with every meal.

Adderall is ridiculously addicting, and the knowledge of that is now part of who you are. It even made me more selfish. You can look at that any way you want. You might not forget how it felt, but the fact that you don't want it means you might be ready to stop. I like myself better off it, but get ready for some bullsh**t depression. I blame the doctors and teachers for their misinformation and laziness. Also, remember not to go back to the same people for benzodiazapines (like xanax or klonopin), or you'll have the same discovery.

But, know that the brain is capable of amazing things. Your feelings aren't really the result of any brain damage, per se... When people do have brain damage, however, the way their brain recovers is not by repairing, but re-wiring. Every day you avoid adderall (and maybe eventually weed) is your VICTORY. Your neurons are forming new connections, and that's how your motivation eventually returns. You don't have brain damage, you have a brain. Feel better yet? That's real. The mood swings are hard, but the way you deal with them is something to take pride in. Please, don't give up your art. In time, or no time, you could feel more creative than ever, but, more importantly, you can once again feel like your own person.

It took me a year to get off Adderall. I had to quit because I felt like I was going crazy. At first I was taking 20 ml twice a day, but later it wasn't enough for me anymore so my intake increased to 4 or 5 or sometimes more pills a day. I felt like people were getting on my nerves and it was taking me longer and longer to do things. My skin looked gray, my hair looked freeze, I felt like I was loosing muscle mass, and my teeth were starting to deteriorate. I use to run out of my prescriptions before it was time for a refill and those days were hell. I couldn't get out of bed except for eating, as soon as I was staffed up I went back to sleep. I was afraid to quit because I thought I wouldn't be able to function without it. I hated that medication had such power over me. A lot of times when I was on it I u use to misinterpret things when dealing with other people. I was very irritable and use to take things out of proportions. Instead of doing things I would just sit and smoke for hours and think about how I am going to do them. When I first quit, I couldn't do anything and thought that it was because of who I was as a person, but I said to my self if that was the case than I will have to learn to live with it. It was very difficult I had to push myself to do everything and plus I gained so much weight. However, gradually I started to notice positive things like being companionate and being able to connect with other people. I got so much better; I would love to write more because I can really understand what you are going through but I am not taking it anymore and so my attention span is very short now lol.