ok, so I was looking over what I wrote, and I realize I didnt explain what has been going on very well...
Well, really it used to be the HUGE things that would trigger them. But latley, I have been so stressed and having so many anxieties that I think that has been what has triggered them... I dont really know what they are. I can feel them coming on, like this pressure bubbling up to my chest, and it feels like I cant breath. Then I start gasping, and heaving and it freaks me out so much that it just keeps getting worse. Then sometimes I will get so freaked out I will start bawling while it is happening, which doesnt help my breathing at all. But, usualy when I have these attacks, I will be so filled with emtions I dont know what to make of, that I just start cutting myself to try and take the pain away by substituting it with another kind of pain. It worked a couple of times, and I think I was getting addicted to cutting... it felt like it helped. The only person who knows about this is my guy friend, who has convinced me to at least try to stop cutting, which I havent for 9 days now... it has been extremly hard because since I am not cutting the attacks and anxieties are getting much worse. Like I said, sometimes they get so bad and I'm bawling so hard that my vision blurs, or my eyes get so sore and puffy that it;s hard to open my eyes... I dont know exactly what panick attacks are, but I assume that is what these things are... what are they? How can I stop from having them? I dont understand why I have them, or how I can stop them. I just dont know anything...
Gracie.
