I have been in and out of sobriety since I was 13. I am now 29. I started drinking again 4 years ago and then started taking adderall 2 years ago. I just conned my doctor into letting me up my dosage to 40mg/day. But I take anywhere from 50-70mg a day and run out early. My life is a mess. A good friend of mine called last night and helped me realize I need to stop or it's going to continue to get worse and eventually ruin my life.

I cried on and off all night last night. I hadn't slept for a day and a half and got hammered and high. I start back to work tonight 4 - 12 hour days and then off for four days. I have to take it tonight or I'll fall asleep at my desk and be a train wreck. I plan on sleeping and throwing out pills as soon as 4 day shift is over so I can recover during the 4 day period I'm off.

Any good advice? I'm ready to quit everything and become sober again.