Addiction, Recovery Forum - Quit rehab after detox

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Q: Quit rehab after detox

asked by: bbfeet9 on March 17th, 2008

Experienced User

Yesterday was one of the saddest days of my life. After endless battles and begging, our daughter went into rehab. I drove her 4 hours away to Albany where she was going to stay for 40 days. After the 7 days of detox, she was out. We knew who would be picking her up and several of the family members called him and pleaded with him not to get her. He looked my husband in the eye and promised he would not go.
The nurse called me to tell me that he picked her up early Sunday morning. She also said Juli was anxious, and cocky to the nurses. She also refused to take the antibiotics that the Doctor prescribed for strep throat. We do not know where she is. She has not called any one nor answered my texts. The fam is sick over this. I feel hopeless and sad and frustrated and every other emotion that one can throw in there. I don't know if she is eating or able to shower or has a warm place to sleep or even a damn blanket for that matter. I am SO SO ANGRY. Drugs are stealing our children. Oh My Gosh, i could say the most awful things right now, but i would more than likely get thrown off this site.
I will attend alanon tomorrow nite. I don't know what else to do. My baby is out there somewhere. I am sick at my stomach, i smoke like a train and i drink enough coffee to float a battle ship. My nerves are shot. Each time the phone rings i about have a heart attack.
This problem has been going on for so long. Pot, coke, pills, oxys now IV heroin use. I just feel that my girl will be dead....soon.
To any one out there with an addiction, PLEASE PLEASE seek help for yourself, or ask someone to help. If you could only know the pain and heartach that a family feels. She has a 7 year old son. CPS turned temp custody over to his other gramma. Thats fine, they are very good to him. There was a report that says that when the CPS worker talked to the baby he had some bad things to say. One was that his mom would take himtohouses that had boards on the windows. He was told to lay down in the seat while mommy goes inside for a quick visit. My stomach turned. He alse found him mom passed out on the toilet with a loaded syring in her hand. If i don't have a breakdown after this it will be a miracle.

Replies(26)

bbfeet9

replied on March 17th, 2008

Experienced User

??????

After trying to post the above, I got a warning that this posting was censored and had undesirable text??? I don't know what that means.

Birch

replied on March 17th, 2008

Extremely eHealthy

It is so tragic that people can lose everything, and still use.

I am glad you are going to meetings. They will help you!

Best wishes...

tigertail

replied on March 17th, 2008

New User

Has she tried methadone? It could save her life! Its worked for years for thousands of people. Check into it. Hugs Smile

Chicagogirl

replied on March 17th, 2008

New User

^ not to be disrespectful as I'm sure you were trying to be helpful. But in order for her daughter to get methadone she would have to detox. Meaning she would need to stay in the clinic.

She's done an amazing job by standing by her daughter and seriously more than most would do after they've basically been slapped in the face.

You can NOT force someone to take meds.

CarolDiane

replied on March 17th, 2008

Extremely eHealthy

Re: ??????

bbfeet9 wrote:

After trying to post the above, I got a warning that this posting was censored and had undesirable text??? I don't know what that means.

That usually means that u have used a word or sentence that the board does not permit. No biggie. Just have to be a little careful on the wording you use. I might help you to read the posting guidlines to help you understand the limitation of posting. There are not many, but there are a few. Might have just been the way you worded something.

Now to the topic at hand. If she is 18 or over there is really no to much you can do. Even if she were to be Bakker Acted she still could leave after 72 hours unless at least 5 doctors and or nurses determine she is a threat to herself or others. I know how you feel. I have been in your shoes. The only thing I might suggest is show her love and support. Bickering is not going to do any good but make her turn against you even more. This is called "Tough Love". Make her understand that you are not for the way she is acting but that you love her enough to want her well and safe. Living a life that is clean and productive.

Carrie

Georgia59

replied on March 17th, 2008

Especially eHealthy

Hey
definitely stay in the allanon meetings- it really sounds like you need support. I can understand your frustration- but realize it's not your fault!

Jacobs

replied on March 19th, 2008

New User

Methadone is not an answer, it's trading one drug addiction for another. Please keep going to Al Anon. 1 meeting won't fix anything. If you stick with it, though, it can save your life. Maybe not your daughter's, but yours.

Georgia59

replied on March 19th, 2008

Especially eHealthy

To my knowledge, methadone isn't addictive, and actually blocks the 'high' one would get from drugs, while decreasing withdrawal symptoms. So in that sense, it can be very helpful.

Chicagogirl

replied on March 19th, 2008

New User

Methadone is addictive and the poster is right it is trading one addiction for another. You pretty much have to severe yourself completely off of opiates of every form to be 100% clean. It takes a lot out of you and it's hell. Which is why a lot of people chose to get on methadone so they can function and begin their detox.

Jacobs

replied on March 20th, 2008

New User

I have never met anyone who has used methadone to detox from another narcotic and then was able to get off the methadone. I am not saying it isn't possible, only that I have never seen it.

ldgcat5

replied on March 21st, 2008

New User

Methadone is addictive. It's a substitute for heroin. My friend has had many problems with this drug.

Like they said, it's switching one drug for another. That isn't the answer.

Galaxy

replied on March 21st, 2008

Supporter

Bbfeet, has your daughter turned up yet?

a sad mom

replied on March 23rd, 2008

New User

status of your daughert

I am in a similar situation almost. My heart goes out to you so much as one mother to another.

continue your meetings as suggested and make it a priority. My kid won't even speak to me and my ex husband knows all about the addiction and leaves me out...my other kid is now mad at me also. It is a sad mess.

I suggest some one on one counseling perhaps too. Like others, we want to hear some good news. I hope you have some to share with us. take good care. God bless you.

Galaxy

replied on March 23rd, 2008

Supporter

Yes, it is an awful situation and I can't begin to understand what it must feel like to be in bbffteet's situation, not knowing where her daughter is.

Chicagogirl

replied on March 23rd, 2008

New User

I logged onto this forum JUST to see if there were any updates. You are in my thoughts daily.

I hope you are well and you've had contact with your daughter. reading your posts makes me appreciate my parents soo very much. I've called them daily and have apologized to them as well. There is hope, she will come around. Sometimes we have to rock bottom with NO one to help us for it happen.

bbfeet9

replied on March 24th, 2008

Experienced User

Your all so kind....

Thank you all for the concern and prayers. I have spoken to Julie. She is now on a Soboxone treatement plan with a REAL perscription. She dotoxed on Methodone in the clinic, but didn't want to continure on that, which led her to the sob. She went to her court appearance and they mandated her to drug court. If she is hot, she goes to jail. There are days i don't hear from her at all, which scares me to death. I think she relapsed on Saturday though. She went MIA all day. I thought that odd as she promised her son a trip to Horizon (skate park). She didn't call him at all and he waited all day. He is only 7. Her mail box was full on her cell. When i finally did talk to her, she told me she was in the ER for her throat. She had a high temp. I should not have done this but i call the hospital, and suprprise surprise, they never heard of her. Once again, i felt my heart drop into my stomach. I noticed her voice was crackly and sluggish, just like before. I don't know. At this point, she has no place to live. She is going from friend to friend. With all the bridges she has burned she doesn't have many friends either. I wait day to day. I'm very edgy. Thanks again for all the kindness. Keep us in your prayers.

Galaxy

replied on March 24th, 2008

Supporter

Thanks for keeping us updated, bbfeet.

It is awful for you to have to watch your daughter go through this, and I know you are feeling it for her little boy, too. Of course she is going to lie, and have relapses and the whole deal, but you sound strong, and you know that it is her illness that is making her like that. You seem to have the strength to cope, when others might have thrown in the towel. You have my admiration and respect for the support you are giving her and her little boy.

I think she will come back to you. At least she knows she can, and that is a huge factor in predicting the outcome. She may have no friends left but you are still there. There might just be that one epiphanic moment when she realises that she *can* turn back, that she does not have to stay on this path.

Meantime, make sure you have your own support structures in place, for this must be taking a lot out of you. Keep in touch with all your friends and tell them what is happening. These days, no one is immune to the possibility of drug abuse reaching into your home and destroying your family life.

a sad mom

replied on March 24th, 2008

New User

blessings

I am glad you somewhat know where she is. You are so right. We cannot fix them, they have to hit bottom, whatever THEIR bottom is...hopefully it is before they die or go to prison for robbery to get money to help their habit, or before they get behind the wheel of a car and kill someone or end up as a paraplegic themselves, you can tell...I am a real worrier. But, we (parents and others who have gotten themselves straight) all know that this stuff happens to many of those who get so addicted to drugs.

my son is also on this site. He has a post currently up there and cannot even communicate with me at all. I really fear for him. I will pray for your daughter.

bbfeet9

replied on March 26th, 2008

Experienced User

Feel like i'm walking in circles....

Well, Julie relapsed. Didn't make it to drug court yesterday. I am furious because the Court agreed to give her a second chance to show up today. I don't know that she went, tho she says she did. She calls me today after 4 days of no talking to me to ask if i would register her car!!! I just about crapped myself!!
The car she is driving (With no license by the way) has a very bad leaking fuel line. She bops all over in this death trap putting 2.00 worth of gas in it at a time. She also carries a gas can in her back seat. OMG, she smokes as well. I can just see her doing it a cig out the window and....can't even say it.
I just want to go to bed and pulll the covers over my head. My hub is getting quite disgusted with me, and my lack of sexual desire has got him in a tither. I can't blame him at all. I am thankful for all your advice.

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