I am pregnant with our second child. My inlaws live so far away that they need to fly to get here.

When I was pregnant with the first child, my inlaws came to visit and stayed a week. My husband's job took him on the road a lot, and at this particular time he had been gone for almost 4 weeks. He took vacation the week they were there. His parents wanted to tag along for the ultrasound appt. I had- the one where you find out the sex of the child, which we had decided to do. They wanted to be present in the room during the ultrasound. I was so relieved when the tech told them only my husband could come. I'm not close with them, but even if I were, I wanted it to be just me and my husband. I felt like it was kind of invasive of them.

I was in labor for a day and a half, trying to deliver the old fashioned way, but ended up needing a c-section. I had to stay in the hospital for 5 days- I weighed 8 lbs MORE after birth (from all the IV fluids I guess) and the fluid would not come off....I was in pain and so miserable I couldn't sleep and could barely tend to my newborn. I still had 6 extra pounds plus baby weight when I went home; it took 3 1/2 weeks for me to start losing the weight!

Inlaws called afterwards and wanted to come within two weeks of the birth Husband told them to come later and they arrived week 5 after the birth (I had asked for them to come the 6th week b/c they say it takes 6 weeks to get back to normal). They arrived right before midnight because they didn't book the flight I had recommended to them that would have got them in early in the evening (not quite sure why, flight cost the same and had no schedule conflicts). They stayed for a week (which I understood b/c they flew so far) in our house, which is small, w/ all three bedrooms next to each other. His parents don't have experience with babies b/c they adopted my husband when he was 4 and he's an only child, and they were afraid to help out with things like changing diapers, etc.

Question #1 :Pregnant ladies, is this normal practice to have the inlaws in with you for an ultrasound (My Mom didn't ask, nor would I have wanted her there; I'm pretty close w/her, but I felt this was just for me and my husband), and is it unreasonable to not want them there?

Question #2: When is a reasonable time to ask the inlaws to come this time around after the birth? I have to have a c-section again according to the MD, it's not optional.

Question #3 Is it impolite to ask them to stay in a hotel this time (we have 3 bedrooms)? They are not even 60 and retired early 3 years ago by choice- not rich, but apparently comfortable enough to do so. Their habits are just so different from ours and they won't adjust. It's probably not fair to expect them to adjust while staying with us. Last time they slammed doors and talked loudly on the phone to other relatives late (10-11p.m.)at night, upstairs next to the baby's room. It really annoyed my husband, but he won't say anything to them. All 3 bedrooms are next to each other, and a small house with 6 people for a week is hard to imagine again.

Thanks.