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Puzzle of Bulimia

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This afternoon was my first visit with the psych.
Ill admit I had myself worked up.. I wasnt sure what to expect or what it would be like.
But she was very nice.. I kinda feel a bit guilty even though I know I shouldnt.. because I cryed about three times, and I felt like I was seeming a bit needy.But I suppose I really did need to talk to someone and I feel much better to have got some stuff off my chest.
I am frustrated though because I feel like i am having to explain all this stuf to people and I am just repeating myself.
I am not used to talking to people at all.. I dont like to be open about my emotions.. and I guess I need to work on that.
I have been through the whole process of teaching myself mental coping methods before.. without using a psych.. and I did get better.
It does make me frustrated and a bit disapionted because I kinda feel like i let myself down.
But the upside is I do have the tools to deal with the problem and I do understand how to use them.
I guess I feel like thats not enough.. I want to talk to the psych for my own personal reflection.. because I have lost most of my friends right now and I havent got an outlet.
More than that I want to figure out why I got like this.
I know I have the informatin in my head and i want to understand why I got so unrealistic about food.. but I feel like I cant see something.. like I am blocking out a little very important piece of info.. and I just want to know why on earth I ended up with this problem.Why did I get it and not the other person.I feel like i dont deserve this but its here.. and I need to know a reason why.
Its just like when someone punches you in the arm and its going to leave a mark.. the only way you can except it is by understanding why it happened in the first place. looking
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replied June 19th, 2009
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Your name says it all..Braveheartbear-I am glad you have sought help..Crying is good for the soul-it releases tension and talking though hard is also good..It's gotta be aggravating telling your story alot of times but you know what the more you talk the more you open up the more you understand..You are on the right road-I hope you are able to follow the path and be done with this illness..kd
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