Hi this is the first time for me to write about this.
Can I give you a little history? I guess I've been wierd around food since I was about 14. I was a lot better in university.
About 6 years ago I moved to another country with my boyfriend. This experience was really hard for me as he was an alcoholic and verbally abusive. During this time I got pregnant and had severe morning sickness. I got thinner and thinner and the pregnancy didn't last. It was after I lost the baby that I decided to just keep getting thinner by throwing up as much as I could. I never never binged. But I threw up almost every day. In addition I ate around 500-800 cals a day.
I got extrememly thin and got sick and broke up with the boyfriend and moved home. No one knew that I had been throwing up. No one. Everyone thought I was dangerously thin but no one knew why. I weighed 95 pounds. I'm 5'3. I didn't have my period for about a year dispite returning to a normal weight (105).
I met my husband three years ago and the purging started again. He is so wonderful to me and I am so happy with him but I can't seem to stop obsessing constantly about my weight. I restrict my calories and although I manage to force myself to stop purging for weeks sometimes months on end I always go back to it. Right now I'm purging again. every day. I have a great job, an amazing family and yet night after night I do this to myself. Please please please give me some advice someone!!!
Thank you so much for reading. I'm 31 and I want to have a baby and be a good mom. I just want to be normal.
I feel so weak. Even though I'm so successful in other areas.
THANK YOU