I was diagnosed with PTSD several years ago..........Almost 10 years to be exact. Well, I can go a year or two with no symptoms and something bad can happen and it seems that all of the events that have hurt me deeply get replayed in my mind constantly. It is kinda like a whirlpool of negative thoughts. I replay the night I got raped. I replay my Grandfather and Grandmothers death. I replay my ex husbands abuse. I replay it all and it is a never-ending cycle that keeps going and going. It has gotten to the point that I try not to go to sleep because I am afraid I will have nightmares. I have been going off of a few hours of sleep a night. I don't deal with things like normal people do. Is this normal to have relapses like this? Have any of you guys had relapses? I am taking medication for stress and it seems to help, but I think it the recent death of my Grandma that triggered this relapse. I have been pushing my wonderful boyfriend away because I just get mean and when he is just simply playing with me I get really defensive. Saturday night was the worst. Me and him got in a huge fight to the point he was packing all of his stuff to move out and I finally lost it. I layed in bed in the fetal position and just started shaking uncontrollably and crying. I would never hurt myself ever, but I am not going to lie, thoughts of it have crossed my mind. I don't know what to do about this. I have been so numb lately and seem to just sit around in a daze. Please help!