You wrote:” Question: My boyfriend has decided to have an vasectomy he has 3 children and I have one.I am 34 soon to be 35 Iwould like the chance to have a least another child. He made up his mind without asking me hoe I felt. I have felt sick ever since he told me. How do I talk to him about this?”


What you might want to talk with your boyfriend about are the advantages and disadvantages of a vasectomy.
A vasectomy is permanent. Although it might be reversed depending on what type of vasectomy was performed, the quality of sperm will never be the same. Also, in many cases, occlusion of the vas happens in two or more years after the operation. Since the body often starts to produce antibodies against its own sperm after this intervention, sperm-counts are rarely at pre-vasectomy levels. So, an informed decision can be made only after thinking through whether the actual situation might change after any of the following possible life events:
-Your financial situation improves and you can afford another child.
-Your children grow up and leave home.
-One of your living children dies (if you are a father).
-You divorce and lose custody of your children.
-You have a new partner who wants children.


Family counseling might also be helpful. Open talk is always the right choice, no matter what consequences it might produce.


If all of the suggestions do not help, you might want to cryo-save semen in a sperm bank to preserve the possibility of producing a pregnancy at a future date. However, doing this is costly and the spermatozoa in stored semen do not always remain able to cause pregnancy.