The lack of sex drive (lack of libido or 'female sexual arousal disorder'-FSAD) is commonly diagnosed in women. Fortunately, for many women, lack of libido is only temporary. Some can get over the hurdle by themselves, and a lot more can be helped by expert medical or psychosexual advice.
As is the case with men, lack of desire in women can be of either a physical or psychological origin. Physical causes for FSAD include: anemia due to iron loss during periods, alcoholism, nicotinism, drug abuse, major diseases-diabetes, post-baby coolness after childbirth, miscarriage or abortion linked to hormonal changes that occur during these two, prescribed drugs particularly tranquillisers, hyperprolactinemia where pituitary gland is overactive, other hormone abnormalities: lower production of luteinising hormone (LH) often causes lack of desire, lack androgenic (male) hormones, etc. Psychological causes, which are very common causes for FSAD diagnoses, include: depression, stress, overwork, anxiety hang-ups from childhood, past sexual abuse or rape, hidden lesbianism, serious relationship problems with a partner, difficult living conditions e.g. sharing a home with parents.
No matter the cause, it is recommended that you try discuss the issue with your partner first, by mutual conversation about his/your feeling of guilt, by making foreplay slower and longer, by experimenting a lot during sex (using water-based lubricants, massaging, incorporating new positions/techniques, etc.) and telling him or her directly what feels pleasant, etc. The actual love-making does not have to start with a desire for making love-the desire will develop later, during the act. If this does not help, you and your partner might want to consult your family doctor, gynaecologist or sex-therapist, who might request the tests necessary to discover the organic oe psychological cause of low libido and who can prescribe adequate treatment, if needed. You might also want to quit smoking.
Loss of desire can often be put right, but there is need to look carefully at the causes of the problem – preferably with the loving cooperation of your partner. There aren’t usually any quick fixes. There is much need for patience from both sides. Nonetheless, the final outcome is promising: a high proportion of women do eventually achieve a return to normal libido after a period of low sexual desire.
