I truly need help. I feel as though I am falling apart at the 29. I have always had a problem with intercourse as I would ejaculate prematurely therefor I wasn't ever able to learn to last more than several minutes. Though I was able to accept this misfortune, I recently find myself not being able to become erect like I used to. My last experience I was erect and within minutes prior to proceeding I lost erection and became completely flacid. This seems to be a recurring problem and I am truly worried. As I mentioned, I am 29 years of age. I am about 180lbs, 6' tall. I can admit I have not been exercising, nor do I eat too healthy. Recently I may have put on a few pounds around the waist and I work in an office environment with not much physical activity. In addition I have been an occasional smoker for the past 10 years or so. To add insult to injury, my hair has been drastically thinning lately and I am certainly not the type to go bald young as I have already become full of gray hairs.
Please advise what I should do. Whether the problem is my heart, penis, etc? I would be so gracious of you if you would kindly offer me a solution. These problems have plagued my life and I would honestly like to be freed of them.
Premature ejaculation is the inability to delay ejaculation till the man wishes or when ejaculation occurs too early in the sexual act to satisfy both partners. The time to reach the stage of ejaculation is subjective and varies form one man to another. Some men may ejaculate immediately after copulation begins while another may not ejaculate even after 10 minutes. Thus, time is not a criterion for ascertaining whether the ejaculation is premature or not; mutual satisfaction is the benchmark against which this condition is measured.
Though men of all ages may experience the condition, it is more common in adolescents, young adults and inexperienced men. However, it is also true that almost all men experience it at some point in their lives.
Premature ejaculation is not a disease per se. It is due to lack of mental preparation or lack of self training to control the sexual response.
Most boys when start to masturbate, do it in their privacy and develop a conditioning to achieve sexual stimulation and orgasm (ejaculation) as early as possible. Hence at the start of a sexual relation, with a partner or spouse, the same conditioning causes them to ejaculate soon after penetration. In some cases performance anxiety also becomes a added factor and worsens the situation.
The way to correct this, is to indulge in sexual activity, when your aim is not just to maintain erections, but is to be the perfect lover for your woman. You will have to leave all your worries and stress all outside the bed room. Just be your self with your partner.
You might consult with a sexologist who can provide you proper counselling and also train you with techniques like, stop-start technique , Squeeze technique and kegel exercises which will help to maintain your penile erections.
In addition, a prescription of medications like Viagra or Cialis, will also be helpful. Using them a couple of times will give you the confidence boost, and help you realize that you are a perfectly normal man with a good sexual ability.
The power of positive thinking can help you accomplish anything, and if you believe that you will have great sex, you will. With patience, a clear mind, and a comfortable relationship with a great woman, you will be able to free yourself of this vicious cycle and you will begin to enjoy sex to the maximum extent.
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