Me and my girlfriend have been dating for a while...after making out we decided to have sex for first time...the problem came up when I went to put it in her, I was really hard but I just couldn't get it in her, size is not a problem. She is really tight (not a virgin) and it was so tight I couldn't get inside. It was frustrating. We did have a lot of foreplay, oral, etc and it didn't help. Is it first time nerves? On finger in her felt tight. We had to end up just doing oral with each other. Any tips for penetration? We are both 20. I've tried going in her with and without a condom. Same result. Is she tight because she's nervous? We tried putting it in missionary and her on top but she was just too tight.
Another thing is when she gives me oral it takes really long to cum...I usually cum quickly during oral so I don't understand it.
Also, we had a problem after that where she wanted me to "play-rape" her...is this normal? None of my other girlfriends have asked me to do this. We started it and I went soft doing the play rape...
Positions are important yes. There is not a best position for a really tight girl, though any position where you can spread her legs wide open helps.
If you allow her to close her legs, she has an easier time clenching (subconsciously).
If you decide to do any variation of doggy style, spread her legs so they are out side of your legs, your legs will be between her.
Do you want to cum quickly when she gives you oral? Is it something she complains about?
I personally choose when I want to cum, during intercourse and during oral. So I just enjoy the ride, and sometimes don't ejaculate (which is good for your energy levels).
Hold your breath more, and you will ejaculate faster. You likely have secondary effects of lasting longer from your breathing or other exercises you do.
Now, the play rape thing, girls have different fantasies, and that could be your girls. Though it's likely a deep down scar she has, so be wary of what you might be doing.
Some girls like to be choked, others like to be slapped. Personally I spank the girls I'm with while I'm doing them. Even if they don't like it, they mostly like it.
Is it ok to do? Well, it's up to you. There is nothing more powerful than saying NO, and telling her why you won't do that. "I will never rape a girl and play raping you is turning me off. I'll be rough, but I won't rape you babe."
Try talking to her while you are easing into her and maybe a little mood music. Don't rush is most important.
Just put your penis at her entrance with just a little pressure and cuddle and caress each other and don't worry if penetration doesn't happen - she will let you in when you are both relaxed and ready and you probably won't even notice...
Clearly you are also uptight as it is taking you longer to cum at her hands (or mouth).
You are worrying about this stuff too much. Sex should be fun and it should be satisfying and it can't be either if you are uptight.
Not many people learn to ride a bike first time - it takes time and practice, so does sex...
My advice about play rape is don't! Leave that sort of game until you know each other very well, extremely well indeed...