Ok... i'm 23, I've had a child but I can never cum while having sex! I can masturbate and cum but though it feels great and i get really wet and have fun i can never climax! What can i do or he do to enhance my climax abilities?
southernmomma, Since you can pleasure yourself, you already know what it takes to make you orgasm. I bet it is mostly rubbing your clitoris, not inserting anything into your vagina. You have a clitoris for only one reason - sexual fun. It does not serve any other purpose. Not even men have such a single minded pleasure organ.
Most women does not get enough clitoral stimulation from intercourse alone. It can be due to anatomy, technique, length of intercourse, position, ignorance or whatever. You have 2 choices:
1) You or your partner need to stimulate your clitoris during intercourse. Get into a position where you have easy access to your clitoris. Doggy, you on top or a position where your legs are in the air. Then take his hand or use your hand and rub. You know what it takes to get you off so go for it while he is inside you.
2) Find a position where your clitoris do get stimulated. You on top where you control the speed, depth and angle. Grind down on his pubic bone while leaning forwards, rub forwards and backwards. There is also a specialized position called coital alignment technique (C.A.T.) which almost guarantee an orgasm during intercourse. Use the google to look for the details.
You also need to make the rule that you have an orgasm during every sexual episode, unless you decide not to. It does not matter if this is from oral, fingering or intercourse. You are as entitled to an orgasm as your partner. Jut because it is a bit more difficult for you, does not mean that you need to get all hot and bothered and then be frustrated. If it will help, have an orgasm before penetration.
Lastly you need to extend the amount of time you have penis in vagina intercourse. That has a direct relationship with your ability to orgasm, Much more than extended foreplay. The longer it lasts, the better your chances of having an orgasm.
You know how it feels when you masturbate, how you control the muscles and the building of the tension in your pelvic and genital muscles and what you think about. Make sure you follow the same pattern to keep the tension building and building and building and building. Juts because you are having sex with a partner does not mean the way you reach your orgasm change, The same phases, mental and physical effort is required.
Do not fake an orgasm with your partner. It is OK to not have an orgasm and deciding to stop. It is detrimental to your relationship and your own mental and physical health to fake it. You will just stay frustrated and your partner will have no idea about it because you have been lying to him. Have a good and honest talk with him without blaming him for it. Ask him to help you experience an orgasm with him.