I understand what you're going through because I noticed it in myself and plus my girlfriend has spoken with me about it. Honestly, I think you should talk to him about it. Especially if you two are so close! TRUST ME, it's on his mind and if he's as selfless and caring as you say, then he's going to listen to you and then you both will start trying to figure out how to fix the problem. And yes it's a problem because you're thinking of your ex!!! DEAR GOD if he ever found that out, eeh, BAD NEWS. A man's performance in bed is extremely sensitive to the ego. EXTREMELY. So try to be more caring rather than concerned. AND FORGET ABOUT YOUR EX. There's more to a relationship than just sex. Yeah, it's a huge part but just know that he tries. Imagine if he didn't care and wouldn't do foreplay or any other activity that would please you.

His health is a factor being very active and a vegetarian and all. But premature ejaculation is common for guys 'ages 18-40' (Webmd). I'm 18 (please don't disregard everything I'm telling due to my age), vegan, and I play soccer and I'm a lifeguard but I also have this problem. I'm lucky to last 2 minutes. But my loving and caring girlfriend has asked me about it and has told me how she feels about it. She also feels turned off at times.

What I recommend is you talk to him. Also try purchasing another type of condom. They actually help last longer instead of the raw penetration. I purchase Trojan Climax Control. I believe it has a numbing "serum" on the inside of the condom so you still feel. However, the sensation to him will be little or not at all. BUT it improved my performance. I lasted nearly an hour one night!! Both of you need to be completely into the sex and not letting the fact that he might pop soon be conscious otherwise he might lose his hardness. At least that's the case for me. I'll be working my ass off but if I stop or she gets distracted or something happens where we/she gets out of sync, I get soft.

And if you're worried about him not feeling it anymore, let me comfort you with this, He won't care how it feels for him because he's going to be so ecstatic that he's satisfying you more than he did before. I know I'm as happy as a little kid when she's screaming and panting and squeezing whatever she can get ahold of. Just try the condoms they should be no more than 8 bucks depending on what part of the country you're in (economic crisis and all).

Thank you for responding so quickly!
I wouldn't ever tell him about my ex. And I also KNOW that sex isn't the whole part of a relationship. He is so good everywhere else, that I feel guilty that it's even an issue to me. However, sex plays a big role in intimacy and the way you look at a person. And, as I said before, I am a very sexual person. If I had a low libido, it probably wouldn't be a big deal to me. I can't control the thinking about my ex, it's not something I want to think about or that I am choosing to think about.

Don't worry, I won't judge you for your age. I am only 23!

So how do you talk to a person about something like this? I mean, as far as I know he has no idea that it's even a problem. It's not as though he sits around and talks with his male friends about how long they went the other night. I feel like he would have talked to me about it if it was something he was aware of??

Also, is this going to be a problem forever? If it is, how can I help missing the wild and lasting sex I have been able to have in the past with other partners? I love him, and I want to be able to have fun in bed! It's not all that fun for either of us now I would imagine. I wish he didn't feel that he HAS to spend so much time going down on me to prolong the entire interaction. It just sucks. I want to do the right thing, but I don't want him to feel inadequate (no matter what I'm thinking in my head!)

I would be willing to try the condoms. I really hate condoms and so does he, but if we could have a more enjoyable time with eachother I would try almost anything!

First of all, thank you for ignoring the fact that I'm stil in high school. But that's neither here nor there

True, sex can affect how you view a person (but I disagree on some level ). My girlfriend is also a VERY sexual person and it's hard work, at least on my part. I don't mind the work, though, because in the end she's happy and I couldn't be more pleased.

Well, you can't just blurt out "Why do you come so quickly." Especially without a warm-up in the conversation. you have to mention it preferably in conversation about both your performances in bed. He might have something he wants to tell you. You never know. And whether he's talked to a buddy about it or not he HAS to have thought about it at least once. Like I said, it's a very sensitive issue for guys. Just be open with him. Trying to fix this problem as couple will benefit your relationship.

This problem will not last forever. I was actually just reading another forum about this and it should pass with 'time and experiennce'. Do your best to be patient with him. He'll appreciate it and will work harder to deal with this even more.

And if the condoms do work then you won't have to worry about your ex being in your head anymore because you'll be to busy thinking of how long your boyfriend has been inside you. My girlfriend tells me that she loses the ability to think. All she does is scream, pant, and squeeze anything she can grab ahold of.

Once things seem to be getting better than start doing kinky things that will tend to your sexual inner self. Trust me, you'll feel so sexy and you'll turn your boyfriend on so crazy he's going to want to eat you (not actually eat you haha you get my point). for my 18th birthday, my girlfriend picked me up, blindfolded me, took to a hotel, sat me down, wore the sexiest see through lingerie this world has seen, and pleased me like the good Lord intended a man to be pleased. she said it was just as satisfying for her as it was for me.

Yes, be willing to try the numbing rubbers haha. It will help.

Peace and Love,
Jorge

Thanks again for the response.
Isn't it bothersome to you that you have to work so hard? I'm sure it's worth it, but don't you think it's more fun to be with someone who can match and/or beat your sexual intensity? It may be fun for a few years, but in 10 years are you still going to be willing to put so much effort into matching her sexuality? I will keep working, and hopefully voice my concerns to him soon.

The only reason I wonder if he isn't aware of the problem is because there is post here from a 40 year old who has been married for 16 years, and it just barely occured to him that he may have something resembling PE because he read about it on a business trip and saw that his sex life fit the symptoms! Whoa! It's hard to know what's "normal" in the sex world since we are all so different. Each partner I have had has been very different, but I have never come accross a man who didn't have the ability and/or will to match my intensity in bed.

I have asked myself that same question. Will I keep this up? i can't predict the future but I can say that the work may be difficult at the time but once I get her there, I completely forget about what it took to get to that point. Like my girlfriend, you are worried about the selfish measure of it all since he would be putting a lot of effort. And, like me, he will be fine with it as long as he's making you happy because lets remember that if yoyu love someone you just want your loved one to be happy and make them happy. Your bond will keep the efforts out of the picture and focus on the aftermath: lying next to each other. Happy.

Another valid point. Everyone is different. "normal" isn't normal to everyone. But that just goes back to you talking your boyfriend. This is your relationship not someone else's. The intenslty in both you guys will be determined each session on sex. Not everytime is the same. For example, look at how passionate you are in a quicky (no pun intended)or in a sensual sex session.

You have to start somewhere. Otherwise you won't get anywhere. I hope you get to speak to him soon.

Good luck!