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25-Pregnant with # 2-Single-Very Depressed

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I started dating a guy in August of 2009 that I met through work (mistake #1). We were doing so well and spending all of our time together. We fell in love. For a while he was telling me he didn't want a girlfriend because he wanted to get his sh*t together first and be the best man he could. Stupid me believed him and let it go. The day I find out I'm pregnant which was in March, I also get a text from his "girlfriend" of 4 years telling me they are still together and very much still sleeping with each other. I was crushed. Instead of fighting for me or making things right he decided that he didn't want to be with anyone and I just had to accept that. For a little while that is just what I did because I did not want to lose him. He has got so comfortable in this that he expects me to accept the fact that he is still seeing her and other girls and yet wants to still come over my house and have sex with me and act like nothing is wrong. He tells me how much he loves me one day and is so good to me; buying me lunch, getting me water, buying me dresses...then the next day find out he was with her again and he calls me b*tches and tells me he hopes I die after the baby is born and tries to crucify me for things I've done instead of accepting his wrong doing and changing. He gets mad at me for getting upset with him like this behavior is ok or something. I am so sad all the time and do nothing but cry. Some days at work I have to run to the bathroom just to sit on the floor and cry so I don't do it at my desk. All I want is to be happy during this special time in my life and I don't want to put any stress on my baby. It is so hard tho.... I yearn so bad to just be held and loved and have someone to go through this with and share everything with but yet I don't. And on top of it all I have to go home every night to take care of my 2 year old. Thank God for him because right now he is the only one who keeps a smile on my face and helps me get through to the next day. I feel horrible for not being so happy every day. And sometimes I smoke or don't eat right just because the pain is so bad that day. I'm lost and confused and very sad. I wish I could wish all the pain away.
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replied July 9th, 2010
I feel your pain as my "boyfriend" acts like a jerk also. I constantly cry and I too am concerned for the health of my baby. I decided today though that enough was enough. I searched online and found a support group in my area. I am also going to sign up for some prenatal exercise classes to keep me occupied. Best of luck to you!!!
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