Single and Pregnant Forum - pregnant w/ cheating husband

Pregnancy Forum > Single and Pregnant Forum > pregnant w/ cheating husband

What happens during labor? What do contractions feel like? And how do I know that labor has begun? Read on to learn about birthing basics....

Q: pregnant w/ cheating husband

asked by: lovelylyd on October 2nd, 2008

New User

im now 30 weeks pregnant with my first baby and just found out that my partner of nearly 4 years has been having an affair for almost 12 months. i contacted the other woman for answears and she had no idea i ever existed let alone pregnant, it turns out that he has been telling her he loves her and wants to marry her. he works away alot and has been staying with her while iv been home alone looking after the house.
he is now saying how sorry he is and that it was a huge mistake and that he loves me and our unborn son too much to loose us, he wants us to carry on the plan of getting a new house in a better area and being a real family. i love him so much and totaly confused about what i should do, i realy want to be able to forgive him and bring our son up in a stable happy family home but on the other hand i dont know if i could ever trust him or believe a word he says again.and if i did take him back how do we move forward to better times?

Replies(8)

toler_30

replied on October 6th, 2008

New User

thats a long time he carried on a fling, and you will have a very hard time trusting him, especially being away so much. How did you find out he was cheating?

lovelylyd

replied on October 6th, 2008

New User

i found out by texts on his phone, id found things in the past like condoms in his going away bag but he just made excuses but this time there was hard evidence so he couldnt deny it any longer.

toler_30

replied on October 7th, 2008

New User

time to take care of you and your new little one.

so he just didnt come out and say Ive been cheating until he was caught only making me wonder how long would this have gone on if he didnt get caught? I wouldnt continue the relationship with him. I know its hard to leave but your road ahead with him will end in heartache. you need the ball back in your court to do that be friends and just friends if you love him and want to be more start as friends, move out, be a good mom take care of you before you continue to something more.... a man likes a chase so let him chase if he loves you he'll chase and peruse you if he doesnt bite it was never going to work. be strong and good luck!

christa964

replied on November 4th, 2008

New User

You say you want your baby to be raised in a stable happy family home. If you are unable to provide that, perhaps the best thing to do would be to place him for adoption.
Contrary to what some may believe, unwed parents who place their children for adoption are not taking “the easy way out” or abandoning their responsibility. Instead, they are placing the needs of their children before their own feelings and desires—the essence of true parenthood. Such a decision is deserving of the highest commendation and respect.
Best of luck to you.

kyrafaith

replied on November 5th, 2008

Supporter

First off christa... shes MARRIED. thus the word husband. this post isnt even about her wanting to give up the baby. Shes asking a question, again. you put the same post everywhere and it is silly because it doesnt even fit. maybe you should read the question before answering it. If he really puts an effort to make it work with you and the baby then thats good. but if he doesnt show 100% commitment to you and the baby then leave and find a man who will love and respect you and the baby. this can be the stable environment to raise your child in, and im sure your son would appreciate this type of home, even if its not "stable" for a while

lovelylyd

replied on November 6th, 2008

New User

CHRISTA

i would never even dream of putting my son up for adoption u might as well of told me to cut my legs off, and i realy dont see how u even thought that would be a good thing to do, i love my son and so does my husband despite what he did to me our son will always have two parents that love him.

I think before u jump to the adoption suggestion next time you should realy think about it because you clearly didnt here and im quiete offended by it.

babganoosh

replied on January 26th, 2009

New User

I had a similiar situation with my son's father.. he was cheating on me, the other woman did not know about my pregnancy (or me), and the sh*t hit the fan. Let him go! If he didn't tell you what he was up to on his own (for a year!) then he wouldn't have. Men that cheat typically do not feel bad about what they did; they put forth an appropriate response to being CAUGHT.

Needless to say, my ex-husband and I tried to make it work, and he did it again (and again) before I finally let go of him for good. Ever since, my life has been drama-free and much more stable. And yes, you can find a great stepfather for your child.

ServiceU

replied on May 16th, 2009

Supporter

this is a difficult situation! if you give him another chance i would go to therapy to find out why it happened and what to expect afterwards.
in my religion you have grounds for divorce. i m a single mom and i love being by myself, no offense but especially when someone calls me and complain about their spouse.
he has to be open to you, you arent going to trust him. you might look in his wallet, cell phone, question every where he goes. you might want to throw it in his face every argument.
my mom went to counseling with her husband, and they made him do things that he didnt like to sooth my mom's mind, and he stop going.
so how serious is your husband in making it work? i wouldnt be so easily forgiving.

Learn About Us

Get Help

Join In

Do More

We comply with the HONcode standard for trustworthy health
information:
verify here.

The site is not a replacement for professional medical opinion, examination, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your medical doctor or other qualified health professional before starting any new treatment or making any changes to existing treatment. Do not delay seeking or disregard medical advice based on information written by any author on this site. No health questions and information on eHealth Forum is regulated or evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration and therefore the information should not be used to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease without the supervision of a medical doctor. Posts made to these forums express the views and opinions of the author, and not the administrators, moderators, or editorial staff and hence eHealth Forum and its principals will accept no liabilities or responsibilities for the statements made. Schizophrenia health sitemap.
This page was last updated on January 1, 2009.
© 2008 eForums, Inc