I am 30 years old and I was with this guy off and on for about a year and half, although we never officially were a couple. There were times I would spend the night with him while we were drunk and other times when we weren’t. We did go out a little bit, like to dinner, the movies, or out for a drive. I was in love with him and really saw us being together if I had just been patient with him. I thought he needed to figure things out and see that we were meant to be together.
This past December I found out I was pregnant and he has said he wanted me to move in and that we would try and make things work out between us. For that month I considered abortion, which he was aware of. He thought it was a good idea and came January I had my mind set that I wanted to keep the baby. I always wanted to have children, regardless if him and I were going to last and I had been married and divorced before with no children. When I delivered this information to him, he freaked out and said things how our relationship was purely sexual and wished he would have ended it before and how it was only suppose to go on until we found another person. Needless to say this hurt my feelings and within a week, he met and started dating someone else, which he kept quiet from me for a while. I ended up finding this information out through a mutual acquaintance and once I confronted him with the information, he denied everything, but said he met another girl and they were just hanging out and that the new girl would probably get jealous and be out of the picture. I believed him at the time and we continued to talk and spend time together. However when I confronted him with the question of why we weren’t sleeping together anymore and accused him of being an item with the new girl, he didn’t respond.
Within a few days I saw on his facebook that his status had changed from being complicated with me to in a relationship. At this point I questioned him and he wanted to be left alone. From this point on, he played a lot of mind games with me of making me think he wanted to have anything to do with the baby and me. I was confused during this time as to what to think, all I was hoping for was for the two of them to break up and him come back to me. Although I tried to remain detached and hoping to maintain a friendship, the situation was not favourable. He seemed wrapped up in the new girl and I was only seeing him twice a month if I was lucky. I invited him to ultrasounds, tried to include him in the pregnancy and he had no interest in anything. A lot of mind games and lying continued and I was under a lot of stress.
Then we just stopped talking and didn’t have contact with one another for a few months. So I started to prepare myself for single motherhood and started to feel better about things. Although I had many sleepless nights feeling alone and wanting to be with him, even though I knew I deserved better. Then out of the blue, a few days ago, he sent me an email indicating that he had time to cool down, because he had been upset for a while, and is concerned about the baby and wants to go for dinner. I don’t trust his intentions, and know he’s still with his girlfriend and have become serious, but at the same time I don’t want to be the one to write him out of my daughter’s life. I’m confused as what to do. I have family and friends who would rather see I tell him to leave us alone, he had plenty of opportunity
