pregnant due any day now and the father left Posted: 06-11-08 13:47pm
I'm almost 37 weeks pregnant and my
boyfriend of 2 1/2 years(yes he's the
father) decided that he cannot live with
me anymore and is moving back home to his
dad's. We were supposed to move into our
new place on Sunday and i'm hoping he will
change his mind before then but he seems
so angry and serious about ending things.
This all happened after I blew up at him a
week ago. I've been dealing with a lot of
stress and the crazy pregnancy hormones
don't help with that so I just lost it and
said a lot of mean things to him and acted
really immature. Afterwards I felt
horrible for treating him like that and i
apologized and cried and everything, but
he thinks I crossed the line. I am so
depressed. I'm probably going to have the
baby any day now and I don't want to bring
the baby home and not have him there. I
haven't even found a new place to live yet
because i'm still hoping he will change
his mind and move into that place on
Sunday with me. I asked him if he was just
scared about the baby and the
responsibility of being a father, and he
claims that's not it. Anyone have any
thoughts or advice on my situation? I
don't want to lose him!!! All i want is to
raise this baby with him and be a happy
family..
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rcw2989
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Joined: 11 Jun 2008 Posts: 12 Location: Killeen, TX, USA
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Posted: 06-11-08 13:57pm
my husband pulled this a couple of
times(i'm not pregnant though), give him a
few days. You cannot stress yourself,
focus on your baby and all I can say is
try to get your mind off of it and lean
towards support from family or friends.
Maybe if you let him calm down, then he'll
change his mind. If not, you'll have to
deal with that.
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Fairy Godmother
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Joined: 11 Oct 2003 Posts: 1486 Location: , Georgia USA
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Hi There Posted: 06-11-08 14:39pm
I am so very sorry things are not going
well for you at this minute. You can't
stress yourself out, not in your
condition. You have to remain calm and
think about having this wonrderful baby.
My suggestion would be to call him and ask
him to please come and talk to you.
Explain to him, that your hormones are
really out of whack at this minute and you
did NOT mean the things you said. Ask him
to please find it in his heart to forgive
you and tell him you want him to be there
as a family when this baby arrives. IF he
loves you and htis baby and he cares about
you..........crossing the line, would be
the last thing on his mind......he could
find it in his heart to forgive....maybe
not forget. I find this from my on
experiences. Being pregnant changes a
person and their way of thinking and yes
hormones play havoc on you/relationship.
If, however, he is so stubborn to hold a
grudge, to me this says, he is only
thinking of himself and HIS
FEELINGS..........he should be
concentrating on starting a life with you
and this baby. You did apologize and told
him you did not mean what you said. He ran
back home to Daddys????????? How old is
he?
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diamondsz
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Joined: 07 Oct 2005 Posts: 3232 Location: , Candyland-Canada
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Posted: 06-11-08 16:12pm
Usually when we fight, we need some time
to get over things, whether it be a day or
even months, you need to have some
patience.
Let go, the best thing any one has ever
told me, the past only brings baggage but
its really hard to do that sometimes cause
it can bite you in the rear end. Whatever
you do, dont call maybe have someone
neutral like a friend call him when you
give birth, the last thing you want is to
make things worse.
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amber872002
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Jan 2008 Posts: 18
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Re: Hi There Posted: 06-11-08 16:59pm
Fairy*Godmother
wrote:
I am so very sorry things
are not going well for you at this minute.
You can't stress yourself out, not in your
condition. You have to remain calm and
think about having this wonrderful baby.
My suggestion would be to call him and ask
him to please come and talk to you.
Explain to him, that your hormones are
really out of whack at this minute and you
did NOT mean the things you said. Ask him
to please find it in his heart to forgive
you and tell him you want him to be there
as a family when this baby arrives. IF he
loves you and htis baby and he cares about
you..........crossing the line, would be
the last thing on his mind......he could
find it in his heart to forgive....maybe
not forget. I find this from my on
experiences. Being pregnant changes a
person and their way of thinking and yes
hormones play havoc on you/relationship.
If, however, he is so stubborn to hold a
grudge, to me this says, he is only
thinking of himself and HIS
FEELINGS..........he should be
concentrating on starting a life with you
and this baby. You did apologize and told
him you did not mean what you said. He ran
back home to Daddys????????? How old is
he?
He's 21..we've been living together the
past 6 months, and our lease is up at our
apartment on the 30th and we found this
great town home to live in that would be
perfect for us to start raising the baby
in and we're supposed to sign that lease
this Friday..2 days! All i can think about
is hoping he'll change his mind before
then. I've apologized so many times to him
and told him I'm just going through a huge
change..but he just says "you can control
your actions, pregnancy has nothing to do
with it" Oh man i wish that men could just
experience a month of pregnancy so they
would know what goes on with the hormones
and such..but anyway he just doesn't
believe me when i say I'll be back to
normal once i have the baby. I know I'll
be happier and in a better mood and i'll
stop taking my stress out on him. I wasn't
like this before i got pregnant after all,
but he just doesn't see that. Every time
we talk about this it seems like he's
understanding and everything is going to
be okay, and then at the end of the convo
he's just like "no. I have to move back
home. i can't do this anymore" UGH. Maybe
i should just stop talking to him and
maybe he'll have a change of mine. I'm
kinda mad that his dad is just letting him
move back home and not telling him to take
responsibility and be there for his baby's
mother! OKay sorry for the rambling, I'm
just so frustrated with all this. Thanks
for your kind words though and advice!!!
I
appreciate it!
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Fairy Godmother
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Joined: 11 Oct 2003 Posts: 1486 Location: , Georgia USA
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Hi Sweetie! Me Fairy*Godmother Posted: 06-11-08 18:12pm
Me again..........you ramble all you want
girlfriend...........thats what friends
do. We are here to hear you out and try to
make you feel better. Yes, he's a REAL MAN
just like his own father. A REAL MAN would
have told his son to step up to the plate
and work things out..... he would not
allow him to crawl back home to
Daddy............sorry. Tis just angers me
off too. You did not get pregnant alone
and you d not have to go through this
alone. If he does not agree to come back,
where will you go? You have until the 30th
of June? Do you have family near? Family
and Childrens Services may be able to help
you find living quarters and assist you
until you can get back onto your feet. I
do hope and pray you have friends and
family near who can help you. Forget about
what I said before........if he's a man,
he'll realize he does love you and this
little baby...........You should not have
to plead, beg and cry. You ahve apologized
and thats all you can do. He has no clue
to what you and your body has been
through. Let him eat dirt. YOu just take
care of yourself and that baby. Feel free
to PM if you'd like. My baby girl turns 25
this year...........and these are the
exact words I'd say to her! Hugs~!
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