Broken Hearted Forum - pregnant due any day now and the father left

I'm almost 37 weeks pregnant and my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years(yes he's the father) decided that he cannot live with me anymore and is moving back home to his dad's. We were supposed to move into our new place on Sunday and i'm hoping he will change his mind before then but he seems so angry and serious about ending things. This all happened after I blew up at him a week ago. I've been dealing with a lot of stress and the crazy pregnancy hormones don't help with that so I just lost it and said a lot of mean things to him and acted really immature. Afterwards I felt horrible for treating him like that and i apologized and cried and everything, but he thinks I crossed the line. I am so depressed. I'm probably going to have the baby any day now and I don't want to bring the baby home and not have him there. I haven't even found a new place to live yet because i'm still hoping he will change his mind and move into that place on Sunday with me. I asked him if he was just scared about the baby and the responsibility of being a father, and he claims that's not it. Anyone have any thoughts or advice on my situation? I don't want to lose him!!! All i want is to raise this baby with him and be a happy family..

Replies(5)

rcw2989

replied on June 11th, 2008

New User

my husband pulled this a couple of times(i'm not pregnant though), give him a few days. You cannot stress yourself, focus on your baby and all I can say is try to get your mind off of it and lean towards support from family or friends. Maybe if you let him calm down, then he'll change his mind. If not, you'll have to deal with that.

Fairy Godmother

replied on June 11th, 2008

Supporter

Hi There

I am so very sorry things are not going well for you at this minute. You can't stress yourself out, not in your condition. You have to remain calm and think about having this wonrderful baby. My suggestion would be to call him and ask him to please come and talk to you. Explain to him, that your hormones are really out of whack at this minute and you did NOT mean the things you said. Ask him to please find it in his heart to forgive you and tell him you want him to be there as a family when this baby arrives. IF he loves you and htis baby and he cares about you..........crossing the line, would be the last thing on his mind......he could find it in his heart to forgive....maybe not forget. I find this from my on experiences. Being pregnant changes a person and their way of thinking and yes hormones play havoc on you/relationship. If, however, he is so stubborn to hold a grudge, to me this says, he is only thinking of himself and HIS FEELINGS..........he should be concentrating on starting a life with you and this baby. You did apologize and told him you did not mean what you said. He ran back home to Daddys????????? How old is he?

diamondsz

replied on June 11th, 2008

Extremely eHealthy

Usually when we fight, we need some time to get over things, whether it be a day or even months, you need to have some patience.

Let go, the best thing any one has ever told me, the past only brings baggage but its really hard to do that sometimes cause it can bite you in the rear end. Whatever you do, dont call maybe have someone neutral like a friend call him when you give birth, the last thing you want is to make things worse.

amber872002

replied on June 11th, 2008

New User

Re: Hi There

Fairy*Godmother wrote:

He's 21..we've been living together the past 6 months, and our lease is up at our apartment on the 30th and we found this great town home to live in that would be perfect for us to start raising the baby in and we're supposed to sign that lease this Friday..2 days! All i can think about is hoping he'll change his mind before then. I've apologized so many times to him and told him I'm just going through a huge change..but he just says "you can control your actions, pregnancy has nothing to do with it" Oh man i wish that men could just experience a month of pregnancy so they would know what goes on with the hormones and such..but anyway he just doesn't believe me when i say I'll be back to normal once i have the baby. I know I'll be happier and in a better mood and i'll stop taking my stress out on him. I wasn't like this before i got pregnant after all, but he just doesn't see that. Every time we talk about this it seems like he's understanding and everything is going to be okay, and then at the end of the convo he's just like "no. I have to move back home. i can't do this anymore" UGH. Maybe i should just stop talking to him and maybe he'll have a change of mine. I'm kinda mad that his dad is just letting him move back home and not telling him to take responsibility and be there for his baby's mother! OKay sorry for the rambling, I'm just so frustrated with all this. Thanks for your kind words though and advice!!! Very Happy

I appreciate it!

Fairy Godmother

replied on June 11th, 2008

Supporter

Hi Sweetie! Me Fairy*Godmother

Me again..........you ramble all you want girlfriend...........thats what friends do. We are here to hear you out and try to make you feel better. Yes, he's a REAL MAN just like his own father. A REAL MAN would have told his son to step up to the plate and work things out..... he would not allow him to crawl back home to Daddy............sorry. Tis just angers me off too. You did not get pregnant alone and you d not have to go through this alone. If he does not agree to come back, where will you go? You have until the 30th of June? Do you have family near? Family and Childrens Services may be able to help you find living quarters and assist you until you can get back onto your feet. I do hope and pray you have friends and family near who can help you. Forget about what I said before........if he's a man, he'll realize he does love you and this little baby...........You should not have to plead, beg and cry. You ahve apologized and thats all you can do. He has no clue to what you and your body has been through. Let him eat dirt. YOu just take care of yourself and that baby. Feel free to PM if you'd like. My baby girl turns 25 this year...........and these are the exact words I'd say to her! Hugs~!

Users who thank Fairy Godmother for this post: amber872002

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