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Pregnancy Forum > Single and Pregnant Forum > Pregnant and stressed
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Q: Pregnant and stressed
asked by: pregoncali on December 24th, 2008
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I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 4,1/2 years. I recently learned I was pregnant (unplanned). I am now at 12 weeks, and I packed up and left last night after the following occurred: The previous night we had heard a light rapping on our metal security door (we don't live in the best neighborhood, and our house has been robbed before at gunpoint!) It sounded as if someone was testing to see if it was unlocked. My two dogs, who have both become extremely over-protective of me in the last few months, got very worked up, and both slept in the family room for the rest of the night, when we are usually fighting to get the two 75lb dogs out of our bed!! Last night my man left for a friends who is 10 minutes away. Shortly after he left I was woken from a aggressive pounding, not knocking, on the metal door. I immediately called him in a panic, he said get the dogs and the gun and "Im turning around right now". So I waited for him.. twenty minutes later I heard 3 gunshots very close! I called him again, "where are you now I am hearing gunshots!!" Again he said, "o i will leave right now", he hadn't even turned around. He had continued his way to his buddy's house since he was not worried anything was going to happen. Upon his return 45 minutes later, we fought, he through a fit, punching walls and throwing things (which is out of his character), and I decided I could not be in a environment like this. Did I over-react? We have split once before, 2 years ago, for his anger problems. He does not beat me or anything like that. I don't know what to do.....
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amberlynn33
replied on December 29th, 2008
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I can tell you that anger will eventually turn at you at some point. I am a crisis therapist and see this sort of thing everyday. It sounds like he is under a lot of stress and now that he is to be a father, he is unundated with more responsibility. If he cares about you and his unborn, ask him to get anger management. If he refuses, then move on and be strong, I raised 3 kids all alone and got myself pregnant again 10 years later and have to do it all over again. WOmen are strong and you can do it. Over reacting to anger isn't possible when all of a sudden a fist is in your face or your gut. Think lond and hard about the implications of the cycle of abuse. HItting walls and yelling at you is abuse, police consider it domestic violence. Think about that.
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