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Pregnancy Forum > Single and Pregnant Forum > Pregnant and alone again
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Q: Pregnant and alone again
asked by: starfllkr on April 4th, 2009
New User
I am about 7 weeks pregnant and have no idea what to do. I already have a child from a previous marriage that I am trying to get full custody of. My husband had died and I have been spending the time since trying to get back on my feet and go to school while my parents have been taking care of him. Now I am pregnant again and it seems that my boyfriend, the father of this child, will not accept the fact that there is a child on the way. He has only recently gotten some menial, temporary work, yet he still hasn't told his family or his friends about the pregnancy. I feel that I am alone in all of this. When I confront him about it, he tells me that I need to stop making everything about me and reminds me of the fact that it isn't a baby. I am stressed out completely. We fight every day as a result of his apathy. What hurts the worst is the fact that he has two children of his own that he claims to love very much, but he never even talks to me about the baby we have on the way. I don't know what to do. I feel as if I am losing an emotional connection with him as a result of this. He won't listen to a word that I say, he just tells me I'm wrong to be upset. I'm just scared that my child with him will be on a telephone-only relationship with him as his other children are with him. He isn't known to be the most reliable person, so could possibly be correct in my assumptions. Should I have faith in him and just forget about how I perceive him to be? Or should I just leave and try to do this on my own?
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cantiffviesan
replied on April 7th, 2009
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Sometimes it's the pregnancy hormones, and sometimes it's not...
when ur pregnant,everyone always blames everything on the pregnancy. but sometimes ur feelings are not hormonal. u might really be seeing this for what they really are. now, please consider the fact that sometimes it takes men longer to adapt to pregnancy. so he might have a delay of emotions or something. u would know ur man better, so it could be ur heart preparing u to do this alone. but please dont stress ur in a crucial stage now, so let things ride out a bit. its so early to tell if ur gonna be alone. and if u do wined up doing this alone i'm sure u can handle it hun! single mommies have lots of strength. we cant tell our future baby so calm down and go with the flow. wish u luck!
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Mabel
replied on April 7th, 2009
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It speaks volumes that he doesn't have a relationship with his older children. Is he paying child support for them? Is he buying them school clothes and helping with doctor and dental bills? It sounds like it won't be any different with your baby. You do whatever you think is best for you. For me, I wouldn't be with anyone I fought with every day or who dismissed what is important to me. How has he been supporting himself if he only just got a menial job?
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