Bipolar Disorder Forum - possibly bipolar ?

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Q: possibly bipolar ?

asked by: Razor89 on June 30th, 2008

New User

My doctor thinks I may have bipolar-

I have a history of an eating disorder
I self harm (cutting)
I have anger outburst. Got really at my mom and broke her sliding glass door.
I get hyper-(I'll explain more)
I have period of sadness, not to the point where I am unable to function

For the pass few months I am getting moments of feeling extremely hyper. Been seeing my doctor for years. Back in March I though I may of had ADD/ADHD since my mother has it.

When I am hyper it could be both bad and good.

A good moment is feeling extreme happy, like I am on top of the world. Very productive, and motivate to start or finish anything. I get very giggly, laughing at anything. People think I am drunk. When I find something funny I pass out. My mind is running 100mph, getting obsessives thinking, and racy thoughts.

A bad moment is the feeling of fear, like something or someone is going to get me. I get caution and start breathing fast.

Also when I am like this I ride my bike allot. Like for hours, riding anywhere, listening to music because it helps me think better. I have too much energy and I find riding my bike around town helps. When I am unable to ride I just fidget allot or walk around.

I get angry over anything for no reason.

Also I have been making poor impulsive choices. A month ago I took a whole bottle of pills because I was upset at my boyfriend, and I wanted to hurt myself. I have been cheating on him. Seeing this older guy just to have sex.

I just don't know anymore. I can't sleep right now. I am feeling tired yet all I want to do is do something.

Replies(8)

rock_digger

replied on June 30th, 2008

New User

Borderline Personality Disorder

If you get a minute, do some reading up on this subject. I think you will find a lot in common of whats going on with you and some answers to questions you may have. www.mentalhealthus.com

CarolDiane

replied on June 30th, 2008

Extremely eHealthy

I will agree with your doctors here. Sure does sound like you have most of the symptoms of BPD. Racing thoughts really give it away. Then of course the out of control anger. There is help out there, and medications if you need them to help balance you out. In saying this, there is no magic stick to completely cure this. But, enough out there to bring you to some stability. Is this something you would feel comfortable talking to you mom about? Keeping it inside will just make it worse. You have to get started on some theropy.

Carrie

Razor89

replied on June 30th, 2008

New User

I didn't start getting really hyper untill around fall. I had periods of sadness. That emerge when I was struggling with self harm and the binge/restrict cycle.

I always had this "hobby" of riding my bike because it helps me think better. I would daydream something to entertain myself. That became more of a urge since about a year ago.

antigone

replied on July 1st, 2008

Extremely eHealthy

You are describing some classic symptoms of bipolar disorder. You need to follow up with your doctor about this. Print out a copy of your post and show it to your doctor. I think this may give the doctor a pretty good picture of what is going on with you.

Medication and therapy can help. Nothing will cure the disorder but it can be managed. Without treatment the disorder tends to get worse over time.

Riding your bike is a great outlet for your excess energy. This is a constructive way to manage this extra energy.

I hope you will talk to your doctor about this.

Razor89

replied on July 1st, 2008

New User

I forgot to say I take adderall for ADD/ADHD. I find when the adderall wears off I get into this manic state. Is this common? I take the cheap generic kind so it wears off quickly.

I find only adderall helps me. I don't want to take more without my doctor's order. Been taking adderall since march and I have notice it's the effects are dimishing.

Again my mother has ADD, and my brother has Asperger Syndrome.

CarolDiane

replied on July 1st, 2008

Extremely eHealthy

Good Morning!
I know most will agree here that most if not all of you disorder medications along with pain medication loose what we call thier "Pain Threshold". Whcih basically means the same as a dimishing effect you are talking about over time. It happens to all of us. It is then when it is most important that you only take what the doctor has perscribed. And it sounds like so far you are doing a good job. But, I worry a little because you have only been on it since March. Please be very vidulant on this because Adderal is VERY addicting and can cause anmongst other things, some very not so good train of thought. Adderal IMHO is one if not the only drug used for ADD that has so many benefits. But, the down side can be very harmful. If you can already feel the effects going down, I would talk to my doctor about it right away.

Carrie

Razor89

replied on July 2nd, 2008

New User

It really doesn't makes sense how adderall helps me with my manic states? I thought adderall was speed, and speed makes people feel hyper.

I read about bipolar last night. Doctors presibe mostly lithum.

I have taken
prozac (made me have panic attacks)
zolft (zombie, dead feeling)
lexapro (felt drugged)
zyprexa / clonazepam (I was in the mental hospital doctors were just over medicated me)

I do understand how adderall can be very addictive. What's annoy with adderall is I get this spike effect a hour after I take it. Feeling happy, high, and energy. Then normal for couple hours. Then the adderall starts wearing off feeling tired, or hyper.

CarolDiane

replied on July 2nd, 2008

Extremely eHealthy

Adderal basically hits the part of the brain that is use for consitration. ei...attention. Therefore giving it a more stable base line in that part of the brain that can't pay attention to one thing for very long. You are feeling the proper after effects from this drug IMHO. As it wears off, the brain part that it has control over starts to speed up again and or what we casll" crash". If I were you, talk this over with your doctor. You may need to be on an aditional medication to farther more treat other disorders.
As far as the Adderal goes, I think you are experiencing what would be a normal occurance. But, please check with your doc.

Carrie

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