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Possible depression? Putting a strain on my relationship!

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March 10th, 2012
This is a very long story but i can't deal with my feelings anymore. I love my boyfriend allot and we have been together about 8 months. Im 18 years old and hes 23. In the first 2-4 months everything was amazing and i felt so happy. But after about 4 months i started becoming very weird. I was always wanting to start a argument with him just because it made me feel better and i loved seeking attention from him because i loved it when he comforted me, i got so worried that he was cheating on me (for no reason) and i began accusing him when he didn't text back with in a hour and i couldn't control it at all. I found myself searching his face book and scrolling down all the way to 2007 on his page and found myself crying over ex girlfriends messages from 2007. When i read this is felt the need to start a argument with him. Its gotten so bad, when im at his and he goes for a shower i always count the condoms to make sure none has gone and i worry over the littlest things and it made me very very upset. I think its caused depression upon me. I feel so down now even when im not with him. He gets very angry because i start arguments with him every day and he can't get on with his uni work. I see him every weekend and stay over friday till sunday. I regualy just sit in his room silently thinking "hes going to leave me" it gets so bad that i have to tell him im going home saturday and make up a excuse. I have never had a boyfriend previous to him and i just dont no if i can handle being close to another human like we are.
When im at home i cry allot for no reason and just dnt no what to do with myself, My mum and dad don't talk to me much i live with my grand perents and my friends live far away so im usally either on my own, with my grandperents or with my boyfriend

I really don't no whats up, my boyfriend seems to think its him making me feel this way and hes even said to me that he dosen't want me to feel like this so would it be best if we broke up? I REALLY dont want to leave him! Please help!
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First Helper User Profile Ozy
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Ozy
replied March 10th, 2012
Experienced User
Clearly, you're dealing with a lot of anxiety, so much that it's affecting your relationship.

Beside from your isolation, what other stressors are there in your life?

What do you do with your time when you're not at his place?

And really, if your anxiety is getting that bad, you need to see a doctor. There are a number of different types of treatments that may help you.
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SianBrownx
replied March 10th, 2012
I just get stressed about what he is up to and i am very self consious of myself and i have dealt with allot of put downs in my life and its made me worry about my apperance, i just feel as if im not enough for him and that im going to bore him.
When im not at his im in school doing my A levels which can get stressful aswell because i need to get straight A's to get in to my uni course and im not quite there yet.

Thanks
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Oneofus
replied March 12th, 2012
Experienced User
It's the old green eyed monster at work and you look for evidence to prove your jealousy right. It sounds to me like you have exhausted all possibilities and the problem is simply you won't trust him.

Tell me, when wuld he get a chance to have another girl? You're there all weekend and talking to him all week.

He's right, you are interfering with his studies and if you continue you will make a breakup a self fulfilling prophecy Of your making.

There's a hell of a difference bewtween maturity in ages 23 and 18. That's more than a quarter of your life.

It's my feeling you have already gone too far, initiating arguments and checking everything he does. Trust is a key ingedient of any relationship and it's about time you starting practicing it.

Yes, seeing a doctor will lead to a therapist but all they will tell you is you have to trust him or you will drive him away. Go ahead, do the doc/therapist route and find out I'm right.

It's only a short time before you start watching his eyes when he's with you to see who he's looking at, or are you already there?

Calm down, you've proven he's genuine, let's hope it's not too late to fix. Trust him and change your jealous ways. Or you know what's coming. Tell him you know you're wrong and you will stop. And do so. Else.....false promises lead to no boyfriend.
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