No, I doubt your son has autism. An autistic child wouldn't care about extreme neatness and wouldn't interact with society. And ASL is naturally very communicative in and of itself.
Your son has OCD, which explain his inability to deal with change and his extreme desire to make everything perfect. He has a extreme desire for control, which is why he throws fits so easily when things don't go his way.
When he does his homework, does he erase his work if it isn't handwritten perfectly? Does he double-check his answers many times? Does he care about what grade he gets to a huge degree?
OCD patients interact with people fine, but his desire for control may be the causation of his throwing a fit with people he doesn't like (which, in turn, would make this person go away).
This is not normal behavior for a child, and you should definitely NOT give in when he throws fits. That just gives your child control and this sort of behavior will set in stone soon. Obviously, an adult throwing fits isn't acceptable in society.
I'm not a doctor though, and I'm just a college freshman who only recently passed Intro to Psychology. Ask a real psychologist about it, and research treatment for OCD.
Also, good news is that OCD is much milder disorder than Autism. However, I do think that his brain/deafness/CMV has ALOT to do with it, but to which extent I'm not sure.
