I didn't notice anything was wrong with me, I never noticed I was getting thinner or I was doing anything different. Apparently my portions have been getting smaller. I don't eat when anyone is around and when I do eat its snacking. I work out harder then I ever have and now my energy levels are constantly depleted. Every time I look in the mirror I don't like my stomach, arms, or back, they are just too big for all the work I put into myself. I just realized I measure everything I eat, journal, and am always thinking about food. Over the weekend I binge then eat very little over the week. The other day I goggled how much calories where in popcorn while in the Movie Theater. I don't think this is normal. What happened to me? Do I have a problem? My fiancée pointed this out a month ago and I thought eating cake last weekend was a big step for me but apparently not eating dinner because it was too late was a step backwards.

How did this happen to me? How did a diet go so wrong? I grab food and end up throwing half of it away. The horrible part if I don't want to stop. I just want to lose a little more. I'm going to hurt myself and I know this. If I tell anyone they will make me get help and I will have to stop and never lose the weight but if I wait and get help when I get to that weight then I will be ok. I'm insane. At least I know I'm out of control.

Thanks for listening and please tell me how did this happen.