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Poor self esteem- why can't i love myself

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I've always hated myself, and I guess it hasn't really hit me until now. I have always been a shadow of my siblings, and afterthought of their accomplishments. I joined track and field and nobody spoke to me unless it was about my sisters. I post a picture online and it receives 3 likes while everyone else seems to get 300. I have 2 friends who are only my friends because of my sisters. I stopped eating for a few months because I thought I was fat and I still have urges to stop eating again. I hate the way my face looks and I never smile in pictures. I don't know what to do. Never before have I thought about hurting myself until now. I really don't want to, and I probably won't. But I don't want to be sad. I don't understand why I can't just love myself like everybody else seems to be able to. I guess it would be easier if I had the support. What do I do?
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Tags: Depression
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