ServiceU, I'm glad you brought up this issue. I'm sure that you will get different views on this subject because, we as a people will have different opinions on issues of such. My opinion? I do not think that these wives of Political leaders should support these men after it has been proven that they had been living a double life unless they (the wives) are doing the same thing! All of the above were elected by people who trusted them! They, not only deceived their mates, they decieved the people who trusted them. Some men think that just because they have Political power, they can walk over their mates and everyone who gets in their way! Some men thinks that it is alright for men to cheat on their wives, but it is a disgrace for women to cheat on their husbands! On this topic; you will gets a lot of different opinions.

Most married people cheat, most of the time the spouse stays, top reasons for divorce are over money or child bearing/raising issues.

Cheating is bad but not the worst that a person can do in a marriage.

What I don't understand is the perosn married to someone who is raping her child and she "doesn't know it" or the half baked who reamins married to someone who has taken another person's life not in defense of themselves or another person. I certainly can't wrap my head around why someone would go to work away from a deranged abuser and come right back home welcomed by flying fists and insults.

these are good points that ppl are making. on the original subject however:

1) i think it's important to consider why these men cheat on their wives...particularly those guys who "preach" so hard against it.
a. my theory is that they get to a point in life where they are "idolized" by ppl and treated as if they are more important than anyone else. they start to feel invincible, and then they start taking chances on little "bad" behaviors which they typically get away with carte blanche or even with some rewards. then it swells their little pea brains to the extent that they no longer think they are invincible, now they KNOW IT and that's where they mess up. they make a stupid mistake (which they're doing because they are so comfortable with the fact that they are invincible and no matter how sloppy they are, they'll never get caught). this is where they allow themselves to think with their little head and it costs them dearly. even when they see others fall off into the abyss of getting caught, they keep up the same behaviors because they KNOW they're smarter than the other guy. WRONG!

2) next, let's look at why these ladies stay with their husbands. the reason is because they wives are treated as if they are invincible too! they have a real nice life with their husbands, probably blame themselves for not "giving in as much as they should have" and decide to forgive and move forward (in hopes that these difficulties will be overcome and their husband's aspirations to be the president (or something bigger than what they presently are, will give them an even nicer lifestyle). also, think about it. if these women trash their husbands, and the husband loses his job, then HER INCOME SOURCE IS GONE. also, if she leaves him, the rest of the politico's are probably trying to convince both husband and wife that it will be much easier for him to lose his job.

for the woman not to leave (in my opinion) is all about prestige, security, and minimizing risk.

when a woman leaves her unfaithful husband, i'm right behind her. i have left my unfaithful boyfriend and did so without any hesitation. i would do it again if presented with a cheater. i don't tolerate that.

jasmine

as cynical as it all sounds, I kinda have to agree. Only thing is, you also have to put family in the picture too. It's not easy for anyone to just break up a family, so that gets factored in too. And these are so called "perfect", overachieving, keep up with the joneses kinds of families, so just walking away from it would be looked down on probably by most of the people in your social circle.

great point kaerbear...i was only considering the husband and the wife and not the whole family. your insight completes the puzzle.
jasmine

Jazzy77,& kaerbear you made me understand the situation more.
there's no point to bash their husbands when they are the money source, and they have a family that is in the picture.
i dont understand why former Governor McGreevy's wife stood beside her husband while he admitted he is gay. Is it true that she was bamboozled into it. she had little notice to get her thoughts together.

Another thing is they have "handlers." Public relations people who probably pressure them to stand by their husband while they are maybe still stunned and haven't had time to think about what is happening. I have a feeling some of the women know what their husbands are doing and look the other way or live in complete denial, but some of the women are probably taken by surprise by it. Cheating sucks, but I think there are people for whom sexual infidelity is trumped by many other factors.

I was the first one to response to this topic, and as I was doing so, I began to look back over my past. I am not an elected Politican, never has been, I am a retired Builder's Contractor; I began to have a second opinion about these men as I opens the door of my closet and begins to see the dirty laundry therein! These are only men and are subject to make misstakes. We all have sinned some time in our life. I was once a cheater on my wife, and I cheated for years, there are no happiness in that kind of life, a cheater lives with fear, worries and pain. The only happiness I had while I was a cheater; were when I was having sex with my misstress. I think, for the most part, the reason I was doing that is because my wife was not doing the things to me sexaully that my misstress was doing, because sha had some hangups when it came to sex, and nothing that I could do or say would fix it. I don't cheat any more, and I am much happier; I have a peace of mind now, not getting the good sex that I was getting then, but that's alright because I'm older now!!!!

I'm glad to hear that you are not longer doing that, bo21.
I would like to add my two cents to the debate. I think there are a lot of things to take into consideration when a politician cheats. As far as I know, congressmen and women have to keep a residence in their district/ home state. That almost always means that the spouse and children are in the home state while the congressperson is in DC the majority of the time. When you add all the required travel to the mix, I wonder just how much the average congressperson actually spends with their significant other. (I realize that Mark Sanford is a senator but senators have to spend quite a bit of time away from their families also. As do sports figures like Kobe Bryant.)I'm not saying that this gives a person the right to cheat. I think there is NEVER a legitimate excuse to cheat. But I don't think most of these people even have healthy marriages/ families. How can you when you hardly see your spouse and children? Some fortunate people can make long distance relationships work- most cannot.
Then you add loneliness, horniness, women that are turned on by men with money and power... it's really not surprising that there are so many sex scandals that involve politicians.
What always amazes me is the stupidity of these cheating famous men. I think it's obvious that they are thinking with their other heads, otherwise they would not evidence trails a mile long! lol
I can only guess at why the wives stay but I believe they don't want to lose the power/ influence, the money, the lifestyle, don't want to break up their families... Keep in mind that these women only have to see the men several days a month and they get to go to presidential dinners, meet famous people, get their pictures in magazines and newspapers, etc. Not to mention the apology gifts. Did you see the boulder that Kobe bought his wife after his sex scandal? (That diamond was so big, you can't even call it a 'rock!')

That's just one woman's opinion.

deteragram...another very good opinion! your point about them not having wonderful relationships to begin with, combined with the loneliness is an excellent point.
jasmine

For more than 20 years, I was thinking with my little head, using my little head and abusing my little head! I am so glad that I found the will power to change my life style before this aids thing got to be a concern in my part of the world! Having had sex with more than 150 different women in a 20 year period! 3 times, I was treated for vd. twice, I received lices in my pubic hair. I am free from all std now. I am glad that I am still living to tell the world that this is not where you can find happiness! I have been a troubled man most of my life because of my life style. I'm so happy now!!!!

Thanks, Jazzy77. Some friends and I were debating this very topic the other day and these points were brought up.

bo21, I'm glad to hear that you are happier and healthier.

I think some of it has to do with societal pressure to "stand by your man". In history, women traditionally just put up with their husbands' infidelity. It used to be common for a married man to have a mistress or two on the side and since wives were considered property, they didn't enjoy the same privilege. The attitude of "good for the goose but not the gander" is still seeded in modern society.

We've got a lot of double-standards with gender to weed out before there is true equality within the sexes and once that happens, I don't think we'll be seeing so much of this kind of thing. It will no longer be expected for wives of powerful men to turn the other cheek and endure public humiliation for the sake of "feminine grace".

I anxiously await the day when women are strong enough not to falter under "societal pressure" and make choices and decisions of their own strong willed mind and stand by those choices and decisions with unwavering determination and loyalty.

One day a woman can be/do who/what she wants to be/do and be PROUD of it even if the whole damn world thinks its shameful she will defiantly, adamantly and strongly disagree.

Then again, maybe these women are making a strong willed choice to stay by the man they made a vow to love until death. Some people still take those vows seriously, even if their partners don't. We sure are a cynical lot. lol. It could, maybe, possibly, be that she stands by him because she loves him and takes her marriage vows to heart. Just throwing that out there.

Or they're cheating too

maddie! that's funny! jasmine

yeah...or that...lol

Now you're getting it. Way to go reformed philanderer (sorry I forgot your name!) Jazzy77, I was at first disagreeing with the completeness attempt of your answer and replies, but respecting the thought. You have, I believed, covered major factors. Did you covered the MAIN ones? My English gets off the longer I write, due to being my second language, but I started young so it's usually good enough. My opinion is also rather strong. Men for sure (and I'm not even sure I understand women), but for men, their sex and acceptance will be forever intertwined. Understand that and you can forever understand how to act as a woman and how it explains some 95% of men's actions. The rest is debatable, such as instinct, propagating the species, etc. This means they get lonely, they cheat, and it hurts everyone. They want SA (sex/acceptance). I wouldn't sell the women short or have less respect for them. Both are living with deep pain. Her's is worse? Are you sure!? Handlers, money tree, all of these are reasons to "stand by" their men. Love also counts. She's rescuing him during her pain. Will it last? Does everyone get one chance? I think so. Not two chances, and no "soul mates" that are not me.