I have been with my fiance for 6 years. She stopped taking her meds a year ago due to the side effects.I am reaching the point where I might have to walk away. I am hopoing if I understand why she acts the way she does I can better manage it.
Here is what is causing a lot of the problems:
She requires excessive praise and attention all the time. If she gets her hair done and I tell her 15 times that it looks wonderful she looks at me and says "I can tell you don't like it". It is frustrating because I want to be loving and supportive but no matter how many times I compliment her or how excited I am in doing it it is never enough. This usually leads to a fight.
She starts fights out of thin air. I can see it coming like a train down the tracks. I once fed the cats too much food and it almost ended our relationship. That's how bad she fought me about it. I am on eggshells constantly and as a result try to interact as little as possible. The more I say the more ammo she has to start a fight. So now she gets mad about me not talking and interacting. And the fun part is in the end, even though she is acting completely irrationally and inappropriately I am the one who always ends up apologizing. She is also a great manipulater.
She is constantly running me into the ground. She uses words like "domineering, cruel, lazy, and untrustworthy" to describe me. No one I know in my life would even think of applying those words to me. Why does she seem to view me as such a terrible person? I try so hard to be I even read The 5 Languages of Love. Why would she want to be with someone she thinks is so terrible? In my life I am generally considered a really nice guy. Sometimes I am told I am too nice.
Her new thing is accusing me of lying. If I get the smallest detail of a story wrong she views it as deception. If I told her I had a cup of coffee and then later remember I was going to get coffee but decided to get tea instead she will view that as a lie.
She even hit me once. I told her if she ever did it again it was over. She responded by saying "Don't make me hit you again".
From what I read she has many Narcissistic tendencies but she also has very low self esteem. Everytime she looks in a mirror she mentions how ugly she is. But she is considered by many including myself to be a knock-out.
If anyone can please help me understand why she acts this way I would appreciate it. The only emotions I feel these days are stress, fear, frustration, resentment, sadness, regret, and guilt. I don't think I can go on like this.
Please reread your post. This girl treats you terrible. Why on earth would you want to marry her? Your life would be miserable. So what if she is a knock-out. she is flat out mean. Looks may initially attract you to someone, but it should be substance, kindness, compassion that keeps the relationship together. The names she is calling you is what she is. She is projecting her own bad qualities on you. You need to find the strength to leave her. Pray on it. I hope you will dig deep within yourself and know that this is not healthy and get out. Everyone deserves happiness and you owe it to yourself to find someone worthy of your goodness.
I am going to say a prayer for you. May the holy spirit fill your soul with joy and goodness. May you find the strength to leave this unhealthy relationship. May you use this experience to guide you into healthier more loving arms. Take care.